Been seeing a man for almost a year, and the references to a "crazy ex" are building up. His attitude toward her is sarcastic, derogatory etc. He has said that she was violent and hit him when drinking, that she damaged his back door kicking it, she went "mad" trying to get into a (rural) pub after closing time because she thought he was in there (he had been but had left), that she tried to jump out of his still moving car, that she would bang her head off the door frame in his home during drunken arguments, and most disturbingly that she threatened to throw herself down a flight of stairs in his home and blame him for pushing her/injuring her.
He says her ex husband (an acquaintance of his, v small town) agrees that she was similar with him. And that he hit her back a few times. My dp says he never hit her, just protected his head etc but has shown satisfaction (it seemed to me anyway) that her ex hit her back.
He was widowed tragically young and has had about 4 relationships in the 10/11 years since then. He is diplomatic about the other women but some criticism is starting to creep in there too.
I'm aware of the crazy ex thing and the fact that it's often two sided (or even less) and am questioning things .. the main reason being that recently I told him I'd looked up the details of an incident, not anything he was involved in, in his home town (village) online - he doesn't use computers or go online, very weird but - and he looked noticeably, oddly freaked out and uncomfortable.
I'm perhaps being paranoid but I wondered if his reaction was because he's worried I'd be able to find something about any of the incidents he's told me about with his ex and discover they weren't really as he described them.
Are crazy ex "issues" always an indication of something more, esp when the man is increasingly derogatory to the ex?