Okay, I tried posting before but it wiped it clean.
To cut a long story short, I got with someone when I was 21, now 23 with a DD with this guy. He started being abusive towards me after a few months. Started controlling me, wouldn't allow me out with my friends, wouldn't allow me to even get out of bed when i'd woke up without him. Always manipulated me, especially when it came to my ex who abused and raped me. Claiming that if I went anywhere without him or broke up with him, this ex would come and do the same thing again and he wouldn't be able to do nothing about it. There's a lot more he's done. But before I could get away it was too late, I was pregnant. I did manage to get him to leave at 30 weeks pregnant. But he's back and claiming he's changed now.
It took me a long time to work out what he was doing. When I was pregnant I found out I'm suspected of ASD and score very high and show a lot of symptoms. That's probably why I'm here because of my lack of understanding and how difficult I'm finding all of this.
But one thing that's the worst to me is this guy claimed cheating was one of the worst thing you could do. And he also claimed watching porn is considered cheating in his eyes.
I went on his tablet (he allowed me to) to watch videos on YouTube but when I opened the browser there was a monotonous amount of porn (lesbian) searches and just general stuff he claims he doesn't like.
That stung simply because he'd told me it was cheating in his eyes. Porns porn to me, just be honest. But he'd been on A LOT of dating websites.
When confronted I got shouted at and screamed at. Every time I asked him why he did it he denied it for months at first and then when he realised I wouldn't give up, he told me that he'd done it. But every time I asked for a reason? He always told me a different story. Started off with because his cousin raped him as a child, stress from work, his family, it all being an addiction that ties in with porn, being angry at me... this list goes on. He does something I believe is called gas lighting where he tells me something and then denies he's ever said it🤦🏼♀️
But he refuses to give me a proper answer. At Christmas (2018) he claimed he wanted to spend Christmas with family, but I found searches in his history that he was looking at hotel rooms to rent for the night and he'd been searching stuff again. It was a website called adultwork amongst dating websites.
He claims he's never cheated on me. And there's been so many times where he disappeared back to where he used to live for a week at a time and there's money and time unaccounted for. He won't tell me the truth.
He's in therapy at the moment claiming he's changing and has changed but when confronted at the beginning of September, he then went on a dating website trying to get women to come to his house to hurt me. Because I'd found out in the 3 months we were away from each other that he'd been on dating websites but claiming he'd changed and stopped this behaviour.
When asked now about why he did it, he gets Uber disrespectful and starts talking to me like I'm shit and gets very defensive.
Because he's in therapy, do you think there's a chance all of this will stop and change? Or do you think it'll be something that'll keep happening over and over no matter what happens?