For background:
I was happily married for 20+ years until I discovered an affair that devastated me and after tremendous efforts to save the marriage, we divorced.
Then I met someone, quite unexpectedly, through a good friend.
We embarked on a very passionate relationship, fun, lovely.
He was not yet divorced but had been living separately for a year and regularly had his 2 kids aged 12 and 14.
He took me abroad to meet his family and I met and spent time with his children.
Everything was great, we fell very much in love. We have been together a year now.
My children have not met him as they have said they weren’t ready until recently.
However he is currently, I think, on the brink of having some kind of breakdown.
He suffers a lot with stress.
He runs his own company and in a year he has had ups and downs with too little/too much work.
He doesn’t cope with it very well at all and
When I visit I spend hours counselling him, largely about his business. I used to run my own business and I’m very practical and organised so I feel I’m really helpful.
He sometimes takes cocaine and drinks to try and cope. It isn’t to excess and it’s not often.
At the moment though he is literally on the brink, I contacted him last weekend after very little contact and he apologised and said he was under a lot of pressure and had to work.
I hadn’t heard anything from him all week until we spoke yesterday and he said the next few weeks would be work work work.
I spoke to the friend who introduced us and he said he’d bumped into him and said he’d never seen him so stressed and was worried, he’d tried contacting him since and no reply.
I got a new job 3 months ago that’s very demanding, I have a lengthy commute and it’s very pressured. I’m stressed myself and I’m finding my visits to him are adding more stress on me.
I was ill recently and my ex husband dropped everything to care for me, called my boss, filled the fridge, cooked dinners etc.
My boyfriend did nothing, the next time I visited him he had bought himself a big bouquet of flowers for his house ( he likes flowers) and I felt quite hurt.
He also has lots of personal issues, he was sent to boarding school aged 4 and had terrible experiences that have damaged him. I have counselled him a lot about this . I also encouraged him to attend a school reunion recently that helped heal some wounds. He also had a lot of resentment towards his parents for sending him away and they were quite drunk and violent etc,
We talked all this through on our visit to them and lot of wounds were healed there.
I feel I have done a lot to help this guy.
I found him a beautiful house, helped furnish it, made it homely.
I love and support him. I leave little love notes everywhere and fill his fridge with food so that he eats well.
I’m great with his kids. I’m attractive, fit and successful. I’m fun and funny. I love sex and literally can’t get enough.
I’d date me 😂
I know one of the reasons he split with his wife was his work/ stress. She had an affair because she felt so neglected.
I guess he hasn’t learned. He’s a great father so he is capable of prioritising outside work. I guess I’m just much further down his list ☹️
I am having a hard time calling this a day though, when it’s good it’s amazing.
Should I continue trying to help this guy or move on? I do love him but it’s hard work.
For background:
I was happily married for 20+ years until I discovered an affair that devastated me and after tremendous efforts to save the marriage, we divorced.
Then I met someone, quite unexpectedly, through a good friend.
We embarked on a very passionate relationship, fun, lovely.
He was not yet divorced but had been living separately for a year and regularly had his 2 kids aged 12 and 14.
He took me abroad to meet his family and I met and spent time with his children.
Everything was great, we fell very much in love. We have been together a year now.
My children have not met him as they have said they weren’t ready until recently.
However he is currently, I think, on the brink of having some kind of breakdown.
He suffers a lot with stress.
He runs his own company and in a year he has had ups and downs with too little/too much work.
He doesn’t cope with it very well at all and
Recently whenever I visit I spend hours counselling him, largely about his business. I used to run my own business and I’m very practical and organised so I feel I’m really helpful.
He sometimes takes cocaine and drinks to try and cope. It isn’t to excess and it’s not often.
At the moment though he is literally on the brink, I contacted him last weekend after very little contact and he apologised and said he was under a lot of pressure and had to work.
I hadn’t heard anything from him all week until we spoke yesterday and he said the next few weeks would be work work work.
I spoke to the friend who introduced us and he said he’d bumped into him and said he’d never seen him so stressed and was worried, he’d tried contacting him since and no reply.
I got a new job 3 months ago that’s very demanding, I have a lengthy commute and it’s very pressured. I’m stressed myself and I’m finding my visits to him are adding more stress on me.
I was ill recently and my ex husband dropped everything to care for me, called my boss, filled the fridge, cooked dinners etc.
My boyfriend did nothing, the next time I visited him he had bought himself a big bouquet of flowers for his house ( he likes flowers) and I felt quite hurt.
He also has lots of personal issues, he was sent to boarding school aged 4 and had terrible experiences that have damaged him. I have counselled him a lot about this . I also encouraged him to attend a school reunion recently that helped heal some wounds. He also had a lot of resentment towards his parents for sending him away and they were quite drunk and violent etc,
We talked all this through on our visit to them and lot of wounds were healed there.
I feel I have done a lot to help this guy.
I found him a beautiful house, helped furnish it, made it homely.
I love and support him. I leave little love notes everywhere and fill his fridge with food so that he eats well.
I’m great with his kids. I’m attractive, fit and successful. I’m fun and funny. I love sex and literally can’t get enough.
I’d date me 😂
I know one of the reasons he split with his wife was his work/ stress. She had an affair because she felt so neglected.
I guess he hasn’t learned. He’s a great father so he is capable of prioritising outside work. I guess I’m just much further down his list ☹️
I am having a hard time calling this a day though, when it’s good it’s amazing.
Should I continue trying to help this guy or move on? I do love him but it’s hard work.