Aibu or is DP

[WhenItRainsItPours27]

Today we had planned out what we were going to do. We had agreed before going to MILs we wouldn't be there all afternoon for various reasons, one been one of our children is poorly. The second is i have a close relative on end of life care and I wanted to go and see them.

So all was agreed and just like normal as soon as we step foot in mils anything that we have discussed together and agreed goes completely out the window and it's like the conversation never happened. He knows each time it annoys me. He says " I expect an ear bashing now " as soon as we get in the car. I am so angry tonight I don't even want to be in the same room as him. It was nice to see Mil but our child should of been at home a lot sooner and I should of been able to go and see my relative. I now feel like it's pointless talking to him. This is a recurring thing and always has been for the whole time we have been together. Yet when we go to my parents if we have anything else planned we get them done and leave when we have both agreed.

Do I have a right to be annoyed?

You should have just got up, got the kids and left.

“Little Tommy’s not been feeling well so we’d better head home shortly so he can rest, always lovely to see you” then get your children, handbag and head to the front door.

“Aunt Evie is so looking forward to our visit. It’s been great to see you and we have to go now” kids, stuff, door.

Why didn’t you say anything?

Why are men happy to piss their wives off over their mothers?!

No you’re not being unreasonable.

Can you not speak?

Your DP is being an idiot. I understand your frustration.

I didn't say anything as I didn't expect to stay that late and I thought after our conversation this time he may of actually done as was agreed. Our eldest didn't want to leave either. I think I'm more annoyed than normal tonight as I just think it's now completely pointless talking to him at all about anything and I'm that angry I can't be in the same room. It's not Mils fault, so i didn't want to make the kids leave early.

Why didn’t you just leave?

I also don't drive so couldn't just get the kids and walk home or anything

I think I'm more annoyed than normal tonight as I just think it's now completely pointless talking to him

Well you know you can’t trust him so you have to be prepared to speak up for yourself.

I don’t know what stopped you from mentioning to MIL as you arrived that you had an important visit to get to afterwards and then just going. If the poorly child was fine staying that’s no issue but it sounds like you let down a terminally ill relative because you weren’t prepared to speak up and say you had to go as you had somewhere else to be and should be annoyed with yourself. I don’t get it at all.

Just because you can’t drive doesn’t mean you couldn’t say, firmly but nicely, that it was time to leave!

I don't blame you for being angry, but do think you can be more proactive about getting out the door - "look at the time! We'll need to leave now to be in time for xyz".
He's an arse for not doing what he agreed, but just sitting and fuming isnt going to change the outcome at all.

It's not Mils fault, so i didn't want to make the kids leave early.

But it wouldn't have been early. It would have been when you previously agreed.

Anyway, he does it because he knows you won't do anything about it. And he's clearly right.

Send DH to MiL with the kids in future and you go see your relative.
Simples.