Anyone else constantly ghosted on OLD ?

[French8312]

I have lost count of how many men, with whom I had been having what I thought was an enjoyable conversation have randomly stopped replying in the middle of it. Often men who had started the conversation themselves.
Or, men who I have matched with who never message or reply to mine.
I try to write fun and interesting messages(but not trying too hard) they are not excessively long and I dont talk about my ex or about marriage and kids etc.

I get the whole sweet shop mentality on there, and half of them are probably not even single..
I'm not giving out vibes that i'm just looking for casual or one-night things (which i'm not) so maybe that's what they want.
Anyone else have this problem ?
I'm an amateur athlete but havent met anyone through that though it would be nice to.

Yeah, I had it. I've done it too.

It's not about sweatshop mentality, it's just about chatting with complete strangers and then finding one more engaging than another.

It's no different to when threads on here disappear on to the second page or beyond because people have stopped replying. It's just that a new thread has taken their interest more akd they've lost interest/said all there is to say on the first.

OLD is a terrible way to meet someone tbh.

Should have said, I used to do OLD years ago but wouldn't touch it now. I just find the whole thing boring.

It's no different to getting chatting to someone in the pub etc and then going to the loo and coming back to talk to someone else.

Yeah that's it really, they always find someone they find more interesting or engaging on there. Whereas I feel this doesn't really happen IRL but then there isnt an abundance of choice.
It's not my preferred way either, it gets a little disheartening after a while !

It is disheartening - that's why I stopped.

It's probably not much consolation but, whilst there were times I intentionally stopped replying to someone and blocked them (eg the man who'd gone out for the evening, send me some pretty questionable messages while drunk and then messaged apologising for them the following day) but, on the whole, it was because I was chatting to a few people, found I couldn't keep up with so many conversations and then found that I looked forward to the messages from one person more than the others and the others just fizzled out and I stopped replying.

I don't know, it does happen in real life - you will move between people and conversations. The biggest difference in real life is that you are engaging with the whole person, you know whether there is chemistry or not, and words flow more freely without editing and deliberation so you are seeing a true representation of the person and you do still reject people.

But I agree, there's not an abundance of choice. Been mostly single for the best part of a decade now and I've pretty much given up!

Yeah I can understand that happens. It's hard to keep up for sure when you have a few different conversations going on, it's just annoying that they don't often seem to decide that mine is the one worth continuing 😂
I'm sorry to year you have given up, as long as you feel happy that's the main thing. I feel like it often too. I think there are a lot of good points about being single

I wouldn’t class it as ghosting though if it’s just messages. I would say ghosting is when you are dating someone and they suddenly and without warning disappear and stop contacting your or replying.
With messaging on apps conversations often just stop. Try not to take it to heart. I have stopped messaging perfectly decent seeming people just because if you are having multiple chats via messaging, some chats take over and others get left behind. I’m sure it’s nothing personal.

I thinks it’s just OLD, a lot of time wasters now on there. I’ve matched with a few women who will then just not reply to a message or you start talking and they just go. It’s disheartening at times just have to have a tough skin and believe that one day you’ll click with someone

Thanks, yeah i suppose there is little I can do except keep at it and try to be 'engaging' lol, but i'll try to use OLD as an addition to meeting people IRL as opposed to the only option as I agree it requires you to have a thick skin and not take it too seriously !

Yep, been there and done it too. I've even chatted with guys who (on paper) seem ideal for me. One had travelled loads (as I have) but as soon as I started talking about where I had been travelling, he seemed to lose interest. I honestly think he wanted to impress someone and sadly, I had been to more places that him so he didnt like it!!
I chatted to another guy who also seemed ideal but was clearly very laid back about meeting someone and had his kids a lot so not much free time. He seemed keen but was rarely online so I just gave up with him.
One guy seemed really keen, messaged me first and asked me out quickly but within a day had cancelled the date because he decided he definitely wants kids!!
There are a million different scenarios that can cause someone to stop replying. Best way to deal with it is to just assume everyone you are chatting to will disappear and don;t invest until you meet them.
Its still annoying though but I think if you expect it, its easier to deal with.