How did you deal with your husband's midlife crisis?

[Startingoveragain1]

What are your experiences dealing with a man's (40 to 50 years old) midlife crisis? Did your relationship survive? Did they regret their actions at some point? I posted just 2 days ago. My partner has been depressed , irritable, fed up, a pain to be around. I have been thinking he is depressed and have been as supporting as possible. All of a sudden He is at the gym every evening . I do pretty much everything at home and with kids , been cooking him healthy food (he is gone into a health mania) changed all his routines . Goin to bed really really early, then cant sleep at night. Very stressed at work and wants to leave there as soon as he finds somerhing else. He is just always moody and no matter what i do he is just a different person. Now he wants to leave, "we have no future""we are doomed"" i dont wanna go visit your family every summer ""this is not the life i wanted" Im baffled af. He literally makes no sense , last week we were planning on moving closer to his family and now we are done. Wtf. Ive just been reading on mens midlife crisis and am pretty sure thats what this is. Any experiences ladies?

@Jabbercocky you are absolutely right about the desperation they feel...

but does that give them the right to be abusive? MH issues are not a licence to be cruel to others.

Written by a psychiatrist, and I happen to agree with him:

Crisis? Maybe He's a Narcissistic Jerk - The New York Times
www.nytimes.com › 2008/01/15 › health
Jan 15, 2008 - With the possible exception of “the dog ate my homework,” there is no handier excuse for human misbehavior than the midlife crisis.

This article says what @Jabberwocky was saying:

"There are ways to survive the sudden realization that you’re not really all that special and, in fact, have defects. Whether the bubble bursts in midlife, with its associated stresses, or at some other time, people who must come to grips with their limitations benefit by taking a page from the therapist’s playbook. Goldstein wrote about three cases of midlife individuals suffering from the bursting of their bubbles and noted the therapeutic strategies that seemed to work to get them through this period in their lives.

The underlying basis of Goldstein’s approach is that it takes heaps of empathy to help individuals overcome the shame and outrage they feel when their narcissistic ways come to an unpleasant end. She believes that therapists must empathically understand those feelings and help clients to recognize and accept them. As midlife adults get in touch with their feelings, “They may begin to grieve the childhood that never was, the roads not taken, the lives not led, aspects of the self that have changed, relationships that never were or have been lost, and the future that will never be” (pp. 411-412)."

www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201607/when-the-narcissist-has-face-reality

I get that a man is going through a crisis whether that is depression, a bursting of the narcissistic bubble or a good old fashioned blast of Jungian shadow projection but the pain that they cause to their wives, children, parents and friends is out of all proportion to the sudden teenage desire for space, happiness or whatever it is that they have decided they have a right to. Grow up and take responsibility for your emotions and actions. Stop blaming the wife for your problems and do something about them which doesn't involve falling into bed with another woman.