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Original poster

It’s nice to do something different

13 replies

IThinkHeHatesMe · 19/10/2019 09:39

My BF and I have a regular night out on a Friday night.

This week he was invited out with some friends last night. All fine. I went out with some other friends.

We don’t live together and he messaged me on his way home asking if I was having a good night.

I replied when I got home and asked if he’d enjoyed his night. His response was that he had enjoyed it and it had been really nice to do something different on a Friday other than spending time with me.

I’m just a bit upset with this comment. I’m pleased he enjoyed his night out and got to catch up with friends but I don’t know why he felt the need to effectively say that he had enjoyed not having to spend time with me.

He accused me of picking over everything I say to him with a view to a fight. I’ve apologised for making him feel this way but I still feel a bit shit about his comment.

Am I being picky? Or was there just no need to say that to me?

OP posts:
Trills · 19/10/2019 09:42

Did you enjoy your night out?

Original poster
IThinkHeHatesMe · 19/10/2019 09:44

I did enjoy my night out thanks.

I just didn’t feel the need to tell him that it was nice to do something different rather than spend time with him. It wouldn’t even have crossed my mind to say this to him.

OP posts:
477964z · 19/10/2019 09:44

Hmm.

I can imagine being a tiny bit peeved by that, but I don’t think it’s a big deal. He’s not saying he doesn’t enjoy seeing you on Fridays. Just that it is nice to do something a bit different once in a while, and I see where he’s coming from.

Maybe a bit of a foot in mouth thing to say, but wouldn’t have started a fight over it. I’d have probably replied with a joke about it or something.

Trills · 19/10/2019 09:45

"It's nice to do something different" sounds like he feels that you generally do "the same thing" every Friday. Is this true? Is the only common factor that you are there, or do you do the same thing, or the same kind of thing, every Friday night?

Maybe it'd be good to try doing some different things. A different activity, Or a Saturday brunch/daytime instead of Friday evening.

Original poster
IThinkHeHatesMe · 19/10/2019 09:48

I did initially reply with a joke and he repeated it again.

OP posts:
Original poster
IThinkHeHatesMe · 19/10/2019 09:52

We don’t always do the same thing. It is difficult though to get him to do something different. He is very set in his ways.

I’ve tried suggesting doing something different and even booked a table for us at a restaurant but he asked me to cancel it on the day as he wasn’t in the mood.

I don’t know. I’ve apologised to him for how I made him feel but I don’t know what he wants from me.

OP posts:
AlphaJura · 19/10/2019 09:56

I don't know him so it's hard to say but he might've just meant 'it's nice to do something different occasionally'. It might not mean he doesn't enjoy spending time with you or that he wants to do that with his mates every week, hence 'something different'. Things can get a bit boring if you don't have a break from the old routine every now and then and sometimes it can make you enjoy your normal nights more after having a change 🤷🏼‍♀️.

MarianaMoatedGrange · 19/10/2019 09:57

Eh? He said something a bit off, and you joked about it - now you're apologising?

Original poster
IThinkHeHatesMe · 19/10/2019 10:10

I did joke about it but then after he repeated it I told him what he said was hurtful. He then said that he feels like he can’t say anything without me jumping down his neck.

I don’t think this is true but I apologised for making him feel this way and said that I’d be more conscious of my tone in future.

OP posts:
Pilot12 · 19/10/2019 10:13

My DP and I have been together for seven years. Every Saturday we go out for a nice lunch together. Today we have family visiting from another part of the country so we are having a day out with them instead, no lunch this week. My DP said it will be nice to do something different for a change. He doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy our Saturday lunches, he just means it's nice to have a change now and again. A break to the routine is not a bad thing. I wouldn't read anything into it.

Zaphodsotherhead · 19/10/2019 10:28

I don't think you needed to apologise. You told him how it made you feel, isn't that just honesty?

If you don't see a great deal of each other during the week and Friday is your 'going out' night, then what does he expect from you?

Trills · 19/10/2019 10:45

If he is "set in his ways" but is also saying "it's nice to do something different" maybe he needs to reflect on that a bit?

QueenWhatevs · 19/10/2019 10:49

He sounds like hard work if he's set in his ways and pretty narky when you're still only at the dating stage. Does he have great qualities, or do you need to set him free to do something different without you permanently?

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