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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Splitting up and not paying mortgage

35 replies

Jackit2013 · 18/10/2019 18:59

Hello,

My wife wants to split up, I don't, I'm not going to go into the details of that. But we have a mortgage, 2 kids. She is moving out and says she won't pay towards mortgage cause she has rent to pay elsewhere. While I can just about afford it, it will leave me financially very very tight. In a year or so if we have not got back together it will probably mean we sell the house. So if she has not be contributing to the mortgage, do I have any rights to the equity gained for the time she is not contributing?

OP posts:
june2007 · 18/10/2019 19:11

I think you do. It depends on whose names are on the mortgage I think. But if you mooved out and she stayed then believe me you would be expected to pay. Citizens advice should be able to advice. They have some info on line as well.

Original poster
Jackit2013 · 18/10/2019 19:13

Thank you June2007. Yes, citizens advice is my next port of call.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jackit2013 · 18/10/2019 19:14

It's a joint mortgage by the way

OP posts:
Terramirabilis · 18/10/2019 19:15

She can't just not pay. It's her debt too. She still owes the bank their money regardless of whether she lives in the house.

Sansastark45 · 18/10/2019 19:16

I agree! If this was the other way round and you left you would be expected to pay !

Original poster
Jackit2013 · 18/10/2019 19:18

I don't want to leave her in financial difficulty so I accept paying it all as long as i get the equity gained.

OP posts:
Underyoursky · 18/10/2019 19:18

My exh never paid a penny towards the mortgage when we split up (I paid it) and it didn’t seem to affect the financial settlement when we divorced at all ie he wasn’t disadvantaged and we are talking a period of several years.

Original poster
Jackit2013 · 18/10/2019 19:19

I hope legally I have something to stand on. Perhaps I can get her to sign an agreement or something

OP posts:
Original poster
Jackit2013 · 18/10/2019 19:20

Underypirsky - did you contest it? Speak to lawyers etc?

OP posts:
firsttimemum30 · 18/10/2019 19:28

I left my abusive husband last year and he stayed in the house. My solicitor advised me not to pay the mortgage, not that I could afford to anyway due to having to rent. We are both on the mortgage but I am not liable to pay it as I no longer live there. The court has said I still get half.

Mrskeats · 18/10/2019 19:32

You are liable to pay a mortgage you are named on first
Terrible advice.

Original poster
Jackit2013 · 18/10/2019 19:35

Thanks firsttimemum30. Well in my situation, there has been no abuse whatsoever, and we are on relatively good terms. Whether that makes a difference I don't know.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jackit2013 · 18/10/2019 19:37

Yes, you are liable, but as far as the bank is concerned they will be getting their money so they won't care. Guess it's down to an agreement between my wife and I.

OP posts:
Underyoursky · 18/10/2019 19:38

My case was all decided by the courts in the end and it got very messy.

suggestionsplease1 · 18/10/2019 19:52

I think you probably want to speak to a lawyer and get an agreement formalised if possible. You can retrospectively alter shares of equity in property after you have purchased, I believe, if you are both in agreement as to how this will work and sign accordingly.

Original poster
Jackit2013 · 18/10/2019 19:57

I think there is still enough respect and care for each other that courts etc will be avoided.

I think a lawyers agreement maybe best unless she agrees to something but I guess that won't stand in court if it ever got that far. Can't afford court!!

OP posts:
MrsPworkingmummy · 18/10/2019 19:58

You need a 'Severence of tenancy' drawn up via a solicitor. This will essentially mean your wife's name is on the deeds/mortgage, but allows you to retain the equity between now and the formal separation. If I were you, I'd have the house valued now so you know what it's worth and can protect future equity based on this figure.

Original poster
Jackit2013 · 18/10/2019 20:03

MrsPwork - excellent advice. Thank you, makes 100% sense. What's best method for a valuation, a home report or a estate agents?

OP posts:
firsttimemum30 · 18/10/2019 22:45

People stating my advice was wrong, it came from my solicitor thanks and no legal body I've been in contact with has said differently.

Jane1978xx · 18/10/2019 22:48

My husband walked 4 months ago and got his own place and stopped paying anything towards mortgage , bills and dd. Both names on the mortgage but the money comes out of my account.

SusieOwl4 · 18/10/2019 23:56

I don't think this is straightforward and you are normally entitled to a free half hour with a family solicitor who will advise you. it does not mean it has to get confrontational . Make sure you keep very good records of all you have paid in the meantime .

Seeingadistance · 19/10/2019 00:03

Like other, I recommend getting legal advice and ideally a formal agreement with your wife.

FoookinHell · 19/10/2019 00:06

@Mrskeats sorry but I disagree with you my ex husband moved out was named on the mortgage and didn’t pay a penny for 3 years whilst the legal wrangle took place. I also wanted granted anymore equity just because I had to cover all the mortgage and household bills myself for that whole three years. This went to FDR with barristers involved and a very hefty bill at the end because he got nasty with me. I was told legally he can’t be made to pay as he doesn’t live there anymore even though his name was on the deeds and mortgage.

FoookinHell · 19/10/2019 00:07

*wasn’t not wanted

ineedaholidaynow · 19/10/2019 00:10

If mortgage is in both names surely it is a joint debt, and doesn't matter whether you live there or not