Relationship doubts

[Custardcreamz]

We have been together 7 years no children or married.
I was young when got together, I love him and look forward to cuddling and kissing still but The problem is I feel we are not very compatible any more, we have had frequent arguments over past month about him spending time me/ dates. He is very much a big gamer and likes to be in his room on laptop/ pc sometimes he is on game all night and this means I go to bed alone or sometimes he falls asleep on sofa. We both like to be indoors but I miss being on dates/ going out. Feels as though we are roomates sometimes.

He has alterative work schedules mornings one week and afternoons the next, we harldy have any same days off together and i have spoken him about us spending time each other/ dates. I am always the one cooking as he dosnt really enjoy making dinners unless it's a roast. My issue is I keep questioning and wondering if the grass is greener on other side I know it's green where you water it but it's like how do you know when you have really tried?? Please help as I do love him and want it to work, he has cut down on his gaming and spends some hours on work night with me I just keep questioning my relationship all time is it normal even when you love them??? Xx

Op, you can love someone yet still not be compatible. It sounds as though you have outgrown him. Listen to your instincts.

Thread 10?

You sound like my friend, very similar situation. I've watched her for the last couple of years struggle, everyone elses lives have moved forward and they just keep going round in a circle due to his gaming etc and lack of drive. If we go out and drink it all comes out how unhappy she is and I've tried to suggest to her maybe this isn't it.. do you have any financial ties like a mortgage?

Why do you have to try? Just leave and see if the grass is as good as it seems in your other threads... just a thought

I am so confused and making me feel upset 😩 I don't want to see if it's greenr because it means I would never see boyfriend again and it would really hurt me :( I jsut keep thinking I could be married by now or could have more in common someone else

Do you want children? Have you discussed the future?

Yes we want children just not yet, the other thing is I have met this man at work who I fancy and he is single I wouldn't cheat but I also keep thinking what it would be like to date him... I'm jsut so out of sorts with the way I'm feeling I was okay few months ago now I'm just questioning everything. It would really upset me to never see boyfriend again I know I love him so why am I feeling like this 😩😩 we are going to cinema today aswell and I just want these thoughts go away

‘ I love him so why am I feeling like this’ says every woman ever in a shitty or incompatible or tedious relationship.

It’s ok to love someone but feel you have to move on to grow. Move on. You won’t regret it.

If he can't make time for you now, how can you be sure things will change when you marry and have kids?

I'd let him go personally. You don't sound happy and not compatible as a couple.

I think you should go see elsewhere. Gamers can be very slow to grow up. Some literally never do. It's mostly a very unattractive hobby to be in a relationship with. Leave. Have a break. Mr Single at work won't be single forever. Go enjoy that flush of excitement.

If you feel like this now before kids ect then I don’t think it’s a great sign!

I'm not sure what you are hoping to achieve by repeatedly posting about this. I don't think anyone is going to say, 'oooh, how about you date the other guy and see if he is The One, and then you can ditch your hopeless boyfriend!' Because that would be a really shitty thing to do.

But I do think you are looking for an exit affair, consciously or not.

This relationship has run its course. Imagine you never meet anyone again (not gonna happen). Wouldn't that be better than this endless sitting alone while someone who doesn't value you enough to do stuff with you is gaming in another room?

You can't save this relationship alone, and it looks like he doesn't want to make any effort because it suits him as it is.

It's time to move on, enjoy dating others, and find someone who has more in common with you and is wanting a relationship, not a housekeeper.

If he starts this at this stage there is no future with him.
Can you imagine if you have kids and this is the situation?
I'm sorry but gamers are the worst, they get addicted to it and if he prefers gaming to going on a date with you it isn't very encouraging is it.
I'd take some time out and see how you feel about dating other people.

God, I'd leave him. Don't let this become your life.

Ahh just seen there's someone else you fancy, maybe that's what is making you question your relationship.

If you're in an unsatisfactory relationship and without commitments/joint responsibilities, it's perfectly reasonable to leave/end a relationship for any reason at all just because you're not happy in it and because you've seen someone else you fancy.

In your circumstances, I'd end it. You're not obliged to continue this relationship.

Just because you're in a relationship it doesn't mean you have to stay no matter how bad it gets.

You had a nice time with this guy and now you've outgrown him. Tell him it's over and find somewhere else to live before you start anything with the other guy.