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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Separation and confusion

3 replies

paris100 · 18/10/2019 16:50

So after plodding along in a sexless and emotionally void marriage (sexless for 7 years) I finally took the plunge and started the separation process in May by consulting with a solicitor.
Husband ignored letters from the solicitor and has only just responded with information he was asked to provide. The children (all under 13) have been told and I’ve told my family and slowly telling other people.
Husband has told no one and failed to seek legal advice.
We are in the same house, he’s acting like nothing has happened and says he won’t move out until a settlement is reached. I asked him to go to counselling, he thinks nothing is wrong. I also asked him to get his hormone levels checked etc, he refused.

We are still in the same bed and it’s becoming excruciating. I fear he hopes I will change my mind.
We both own the house and I have said I would like to stay in it (I can afford to) for the sake of stability for children.
I have bouts of wondering if I’m doing the right thing but he has no sexual interest. I haven’t even had a hug or kiss in 7 years.
But I also wonder if I can survive like this, I’m only in my 40s.

OP posts:
richteasandcheese · 18/10/2019 18:31

Can you sleep separately for a start?

paris100 · 18/10/2019 19:02

No spare space unfortunately, unless I go in with a child

OP posts:
Emmerdaledramaqueen · 18/10/2019 21:19

Been in your situation and although not ideal I went in with my child. It made it clear that the status quo wouldn't continue and we are now in separate houses. Relationship is still difficult, however it's much less stressful.

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