Antidepressants

[WhatFreshHell71]

Do they mask feelings?

So if you suffer a bereavement you won't feel the grief as acutely?

Will it bite you on the bum later?

Sorry for sounding ignorant.

Unfortunately there's not one exact answer, as there are a multitude of medications, dosage and we're all different so react different to them.

I had a number of antidepressants between the age of 16 and 25, and honestly coming off them was the best thing I ever did. I became numb, suicidal and just an awful excuse of a person on them. I feel a lot more emotion now that I no longer take them, meaning that I cry whether I'm happy or sad, but I'll take that over feeling the emptiness I felt before.

On a side note, I do hope you're okay, OP.

They each bring with them slightly differing effects and impact people differently.

I found that they still allowed me to feel appropriate emotions, but from an elevated baseline mood and with perhaps a limit to just how far you can swing from neutral. i.e you can still be very sad, bu just not in absolute despair. You can still be really happy, just not running round the room with your hands in the air.

They can and often do bring with them side effects which will again vary from person to person. To some, the side effects are just as bad as the issue they are trying to fix. A big one often brushed under the carpet are sexual side effects - important to some, less for others.

Also keep in mind, most of them can take at least 6-8 weeks before any effect can be assessed and may require dosage adjustments to find what works for you - in other words it can be months before you find the right drug and dosage.

Some drugs can be very difficult to withdraw from with some extremely unpleasant side effects, Velafaxine being a frequent flyer in this regard. Other drygs are easier to come off, such as Fluoxtetine (Prozac).

I've pretty much been on them all over the years. There was no 'ticks every box' that I experienced.

I’m on venlafaxine (Effexor) & not sure why someone would take ADs for a bereavement. You can’t cheat your way through feeling grief. It’s not the same as having depression in my opinion & would be better off seeking grief counselling. Grief has stages, you must move through them. The concept of feeling numb must sound wonderful during grief, but it’s the same as medicating with alcohol, you’re trying to avoid your feelings. That’s not depression.

ADs should not make you feel “numb” and if they do I would personally argue you’re on the wrong one, or do not suffer from clinical depression. They are over prescribed & this is why they get a bad rap.

Also what if you were prescribed one that gives you initial side effects like heightened anxiety, etc. There is no happy pill that takes away sadness.

I think we all try and cheat to get out of feelings, whether that's by drinking alcohol, or shouting at the wrong person, or eating too much, etc. If you have overwhelming feelings that are affecting your life, taking antidepressants is a positive way of managing that, in most cases.

But I do advise some caution as the side effects and withdrawal symptoms can be as much of a problem as the original symptoms.

IMO they give you the ability to focus as opposed to being overwhelmed by negative feelings. Everyone IS different and I don't think it is appropriate for someone to question your need for them other than your doc.

I had a number of antidepressants between the age of 16 and 25, and honestly coming off them was the best thing I ever did. I became numb, suicidal and just an awful excuse of a person on them. I feel a lot more emotion now that I no longer take them, meaning that I cry whether I'm happy or sad, but I'll take that over feeling the emptiness I felt before.

I'm so sorry for what you've been through. And to you, OP.

I've taken antideps for the last 25 years (abusive childhood) and tried pretty much everything - amitriptylene, citalopram, escitalopram, sertraline, venlafaxine, mirtazapine, duloxetine.

On all of them (except venlaf/mirtaz blend) I've been emotionally numb, developed into a self-harmer (could be regressed trauma I guess), total inability to express emotion - cry, laugh, find joy/beauty in things. Just entirely numb. And I'll carry, and add to, the self-harm scars for life I expect.

Good news is, a psychiatrist has just put me back on venlaf/mirtazapine blend which I'm really hoping will lead to improved quality and enjoyment of life.

You may have to try a "few" to find best fit. I'd highly recommended asking for a psychiatric referral as they are the experts and have access to more drugs than GPs. I've always felt antidepressants via GPs (several) to be a bit of a pick-and-mix scenario.

Good luck!

A big one often brushed under the carpet are sexual side effects

Forgot side effects, just my anecdotes but I've seen myself and my darling (bitch) mother experience numerous side effects over years.

I can never remember how to differentiate between SSRI and SNRI, but I refuse to take one type as the sexual side effects were utterly horrendous.

If you want something to tide you through a bereavement, a short (7-14 day) course of diazepam would likely be more appropriate but many GPs will not px them anymore, even to people with anxiety disorders, for the reason they mask emotional issues and don't resolve what's underlying.

As a pp said, you'd need to take ADs for 6-8 weeks for any impact and you could struggle to get prescribed based on the info in your OP. I still say that the psychiatric route is best if you feel you need them longer term.

It's different for everyone, OP.

There are a lot of different ads and everyone reacts to them differently. If you try one and it doesn't work, change it.

Fwiw I spent some time on citalopram, and yes, the highs weren't as high and the lows weren't as low. That was exactly what I needed at the time.

The grief exception - are you expecting a bereavement to occur soon or has it already happened? Do/did you already have a difficulty with mood before this? Some professionals consider the first 6 months after a loss to be grieving, and might be reluctant to prescribe medication for a "natural" state of being (but ime most GPs are very willing to prescribe).

Will it bite you on the bum later? I'm not 100% what you're asking here, but if it's "Will all the grief come flooding back when I stop taking them?" then the answer will be (sorry) "It depends".
Usually, when people stop taking ads, they do experience a period of low or changeable moods. For this reason, it's important to be sure and ready when it's time to stop taking them. Generally, 6 months is a pretty short time to be taking ads.

Research consistently shows best recovery rates happen when ads are taken alongside a talking therapy, not just one or the other.

There's a great book called Malignant Sadness by Lewis Wolpert about depression.

A big one often brushed under the carpet are sexual side effects

Although lots of people on anti depressants do report a loss of libido, it's worth remembering that depression itself causes this too. Sometimes it's not clear whether the symptom is caused by the drug or by the illness. I found ads actually helped in this department, by making me less depressed.

It's really important to remember that ads are a tool that can help us overcome depression, but not a magic bullet. They typically take a few weeks to start to work and can make us feel worse before we feel better.

Linda Gask's The Other Side of Silence: A Psychiatrist's Memoir of Depression is also a good read. Lene Marlin's Never to Know is a song conveying depression.

I was put on 50mg of Sertraline for depression and I found it made me extremely numb. Maybe I didn't give it long enough to even itself out but I felt like a zombie - no feelings. It was nice to not feel emotional pain. However, this was after 9 months of grieving and not being able to cope with my emotions.

I suggest you allow lots of time to grieve before you try medication. If, however, it's interfering with your work, see if you can take a few more weeks off and then try tablets if you're still not coping.