I am so scared of being a single mum - I'm bipolar

[Idontknowwhattodo2]

I'm 13 weeks pregnant and I'm so terrified of being a single mum. I know it's going to be hard and my mum was a single mum so it's nothing about being a 'single mum' itself more about how I'm going to cope.

I have bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder and I am high risk for post-natal depression. I am worried about the sleepless nights because lack of sleep can push me into hypomania. I'm not at risk of psychosis because I have never experienced full-blown mania.

Usually symptoms are more like irritability, big ideas, mad motivation and feeling on top of the world, but the crash is always bad and I get quite depressed.

I'm under the mental health team but I'm just scared of how the lack of sleep and stress and loneliness is going to affect me. Not that I will be in anyway dangerous to my baby (and the mental health team know that, I was given a very good report) and I will have lots of support from my family, but the night times are what is really worrying me.

My partner left at 9 weeks and has been hot and cold, sleeping with me on and off and then ghosting me, ignored me for two weeks, then one, then I haven't heard from him since Saturday again.

He says he wants to be involved with baby but how is that going to work? I just feel this resentment towards him because he gets to carry on as normal, enjoying day time visits while I'm going to be doing everything. I wih we could just get back together and do it as a team but I know that's not going to happen.

I just need someone to tell me it will be okay :(

It might not be easy but it will be ok. Do you have friends and family ?

The borderline personality + bipolar is serious (have bipolar also) are you medicated & do you need to go off medication ? You must get your support network sorted so you will have a safety net to help you once baby is here. I have decided to remain childfree & importance of regular sleep patterns to prevent bipolar episodes is one factor.

It will be okay.

I was diagnosed when my DD was 12 month old, and I left my ex when she was 18months.

Children give you a great boost in your self importance and self worth. You’ll absolutely smash it, but please make sure you get access to all the help you need and put you and your baby first

Babe, you're worrying about what has not yet happened ... you will more than definitely be ok. With your ups and your downs...but absolutely ok. Im a worrier too, all the what ifs and different case scenarios... when things actually come , theyre not that bad. The "thinking" is often worse than the "doing". Have faith and dont over think. Go With it. You've got this. 💖

Do you have a CPN or are you under a consultant psych? Tell your care coordinator your concerns. There are organisations that can step in during the early days to help. Tell your midwife now so that a plan can be formed by the different professionals involved in you and your baby’s lives. You know your triggers and that is a positive factor. Fore-planning is what’s needed so good for you for reaching out. I know you are frightened and asking for help is the absolute right thing to do xxx

Right.
It will be ok.
If you have to go off prescription for the duration the trick is to attend every appointment with every Tom, dick or Harry. G.P., Midwife, nurse, cpn, the bloke in the shop who's a good listener and any contact with helpful family and friends. They will keep an eye out for you.
Congratulations

I think I read your other post earlier this evening, about your ex partner? Did I read you were about an hour away from your family? Might it be a good idea to move closer so you have more on hand support once baby arrives. It's not going to be easy.