sad life?

[finegirl]

Been married 21 years, last had sex with my husband 18 years ago! He did (does) not know what to do and I had enough of him asking 'is this ok' near enough every time we had sex. In my opinion we have nothing in common and i have lost all respect for him. We have two lovely children and bar his selfishness he is a good father. He is sitting down beside me trying to us salsa dancing lessons : he has two left feet! I am obviously not perfect either.....

What do you think you need to do to go from sad life to happy life?

18 years of celibacy??!! That's longer than many of the cloistered clergy, OP.

At least he got it right twice before you ended your sexual relationship with him but, given that he's not run off with an ow or divorced you for unreasonable behaviour, in my book this makes him selfless rather than selfish.

As your dc are most likely adults, and as you have no respect for him, I suggest you file for divorce and set him free to find someone who's willing to engage in an intimate relationship with him - if, of course, that's what he wants after years of abstaining from dtd.