Help! Manipulative ex

[StressedDuck]

I’m in a difficult situation and im at my wits end thinking of what i can do and hoping someone can help me figure it out.
Basically my son lives with his dad. I gave him custody when our son was 6 months cus i was struggling too much by myself and i thought he would work with me. Apparently i was wrong. Our son is now 2 and my ex has said i follow his rules or get gone. Theres no court order so i dont need to follow any rules and he didnt stick to anything he agreed to when i gave him custody (such as his gf cant be around ds all the time or take care of him).
I haven’t the energy to fight him for a lifetime and i wont have him think he can control me so i want custody back. Is there anything anyone can suggest?

The first thing you should do is speak to a solicitor about setting up regular court directed access.
Your ex will have a difficult time denying you access unless there's a very good reason such as a history of violence and neglect.

It's not going to be easy if your ex decides to be difficult but if he's using your child to make you jump through hoops regarding access you need to go through court. Have a system in place that works best for your son and stick to it to the letter before you go down the route of trying to regain custody. You'll have to show that you're responsible and have your sons best interests at heart. Good luck