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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Irrational thinking

6 replies

Emma60 · 15/10/2019 17:02

hiya
I have this ongoing issue that I have had for ages but cant seem to deal with. Anytime my husband announces he is going on a night out I get stressed and anxious it is like this black cloud comes down and all i can think about is what would happen if he didnt come home and I couldnt get a hold of him. Its a weird thought process if he was to go away for the weekend to football or away for a few days golfing I dont even bat an eyelid but when he is going out and I know he is coming home later that night I just cant seem to cope. He is going out for a christmas night out in December and will need two trains to get home and I am stressed about it already ,, please someone offer me some advice :)

OP posts:
ISawyouinTescoyesterday · 17/10/2019 18:26

Hi apologies no one has replied
Does he take you out at all? Has he done anything in the past to make you distrust him?!

Emma60 · 17/10/2019 19:51

Hiya thanks for replying yes we go out together a lot and with friends but it's very rare for him to go out for just are night out which is probs the problem. There is no rationale for this at all but it's just an awful way to think . In my mind I have him going awol and Christmas ruined it's like I'm going out of my mind and I can't rationalise xx

OP posts:
ISawyouinTescoyesterday · 17/10/2019 21:01

Has he behaving suspicious at all with phone or working late for you to feel like this? I do understand where you are coming from, as I have felt like it on occasion. Especially as I don't trust anyone my dh works with. They are quite strong women as in ignore the wife and flirt with him. We cannot go anywhere without seeing them. Sad

PJ67 · 17/10/2019 22:13

I think it is an irrational thought due to anxiety. I get this when I worry about people having accidents if they're late. Do you know what you're anxious about, that he has an accident, gets drunk and can't get home, meets someone else etc? If you're able to identify the worry you may be able to write it down and try to look at more likely outcomes.

Emma60 · 17/10/2019 22:38

Hiya. Yes it's totally irrational I worry that he will have an accident or won't be able to get home late trains missed trains etc and I'll be sat at home worrying or get a drunk phone call asking for a lift which would be fine but where he is going out is about an hour and a bit away xx. We have spoken about and and I did suggest that he gets a cheap travel lodge so I can chill and not worry about him getting home x

OP posts:
Emma60 · 17/10/2019 22:56

How do you get over it from your experience x

OP posts:
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