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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Do I have any chance?

20 replies

TANDY12345 · 15/10/2019 15:17

A month ago me and my ex broke up after she discovered that I had stolen £80 from a till at the place she works. I initially denied it but was caught on CCTV. We were together 5 months and had been friends for a year prior.

She immediately ended the relationship after she found out what I had done. She blocked me her on all forms of contact: FB, Whatsapp, phone, text etc. Her friends and family also blocked and deleted me on FB.

I begged, pleaded, apologised, wrote a letter, contacted her family and friends (before being blocked), went to her house, but to avail.

I stopped trying to get in contact 3 days after the breakup.

Two weeks after the breakup I recieved a message from her saying she was ready to talk but we would not be getting back together or even being friends.

I agreed.

After texting her to agree a time, place and date, she text me saying she had changed her mind and that talking wouldn't solve anything. She wanted to move on with her life and stop dwelling on it, she said. Have a good life were her final words.

I responded that I understood and wished her the best. I did not recieve any further communication.

This was the last contact I had with her 3 days ago.

I've been advised to completely leave her alone which I am sticking to.

However I am unable to stop thinking about her and wondering if she will ever contact me again or if I will ever see her again.

I understand this is vague and maybe I need to provide more detail, which I will upon request.

Do I have any chance at speaking to her again, being friends, having a civil conversation?

OP posts:

Aquamarine1029 · 15/10/2019 15:21

Hopefully, your ex has enough sense to never see you again. You're a thief, and you stole money from HER WORK. Honestly, what's wrong with you??

Leave her alone and get your life together.

TooTrueToBeGood · 15/10/2019 15:24

Why on earth would she want to have anything to do with you? Not only are you a thief but you stole from her place of work. You put her job and her relationship with her employer and colleagues at risk. You also lied and then went into stalker mode. Any sane person would run a fucking mile and not look back.

AnneLovesGilbert · 15/10/2019 15:25

No, not a chance in hell. What the fuck were you thinking? Drugs, gambling, porn? Whatever your excuse, it’s pathetic and she deserves someone better than you. Leave her alone.

JorisBonson · 15/10/2019 15:26

This really can't be real.

SellmeyourMLMcrap · 15/10/2019 15:30

She just rang me to say that she wants you back. She'll meet you by the phone box on station road.

This really can't be real.

This isn't real. Not a chance.

RolyRolyRolyPoly · 15/10/2019 15:30

Why did you do it and what have you done to make amends? (I.e return the money, etc)
If this is your usual behaviour, I don't blame her for wanting nothing to do with you because you sabotaged her place of work (although why she would be with you before you went that far boggles my mind) but if this is a one off thing, I would want to find out why but would still end the relationship. She does have a right to not want to continue.

No one knows if you have a chance because no one knows her. So, Maybe/Maybe not.

Pinkbonbon · 15/10/2019 15:31

Maybe get some help for your kleptomania/poor impulse control or whatever the heck is going on there.

If you cared for her at all you would not seek any further contact with her,not only that - you wouldn't allow her to get back in touch with you. If she has any sense she won't.

Sort your own shit out before looking to date again.

Thingsdogetbetter · 15/10/2019 15:36

You stole from her WORK and risked her job; lied which probably made it look like it was her stealing; refused to accept her totally reasonable decision to dump you and pestered (harassed) her, her friends and family until they had to block you.

She had a weak moment and was probably hoping for a justifiable reason for such stupidity. Then realised you could never provide that so called off the meeting. Good for her. If she has any self respect you have no chance of speaking to her again.

Accept the consequences of YOUR bloody awful actions. The only good thing that could come of this is you learnt not to be a thieving twat.

SparklyMagpie · 15/10/2019 15:38

😂😂😂😂 what a chump

Lex234 · 15/10/2019 16:09

A month ago me and my ex broke up

And

I stopped trying to get in contact 3 days after the breakup.

And

Two weeks after the breakup I recieved a message

And

This was the last contact I had with her 3 days ago.

Your timeline is somewhat off, OP

SparklyMagpie · 15/10/2019 16:18

@Lex234 I'm sorry maybe its lack of sleep over the last 2 weeks and DS driving me up the wall but just reading "And" ..."And"...."And"....

😂😂😂😂

Lex234 · 15/10/2019 16:26

SparklyMagpie 😂

IAmPrettyWisdomous · 16/10/2019 01:18

Let's flip this, shall we? Would YOU date someone who stole from your workplace and not only humiliated and embarrassed you but actually jeopardised your job?

Any sensible person would run a mile from anyone like yourself, I cannot even begin to comprehend how you think what you have done is so insignificant that you deserve a second chance.

I suggest you concentrate on yourself before you cause hurt to another human. Address your issues as evidently there is something wrong for you to have done what you did.

I do however doubt this story is true, but if it is, here's hoping your ex continues to put herself first and finds better.

Walnutwhipster · 16/10/2019 01:23

Not if she's got any sense.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 16/10/2019 01:41

WTF? You stole from her workplace, contacted her friends and family against her (and their) wishes and god knows what else. You're now wondering if you have a chance with her?

You don't. HTH

DonKeyshot · 16/10/2019 02:30

Your former gf doesn't want to see you again in this lifetime, and who can blame her for dumping a common thief who stole from her workplace ffs!

If you'd done this to me, it would be a very long time before I could be civil to you if we bumped into each other while out and about and that would apply to any of my family members, friends, etc who had the misfortune to unexpectedly encounter you as they went about their business.

Disgraceful behaviour. Shame alone should cause you to keep a very low profile and stay well away from her and I hope you were, or are being, prosecuted for your crime.

littleorangecat22 · 16/10/2019 02:57

Unless you had a very good reason - a life or death kind of situation - to steal that money, I am 100% on her side. You don't even sound conerned that you committed a crime, just that she won't talk to you? You put her in a situation where she could've lost her job!

FavouriteSong · 16/10/2019 04:45

No you don't stand a chance. Stop pursuing her. Work on yourself and find your moral compass. Don't be a lowlife thief in the future. Leave this poor woman alone, she's probably embarrassed by you and ashamed of you.

SkiingIsHeaven · 16/10/2019 07:02

This sounds like BS

Countryescape · 16/10/2019 08:04

This is a wind up. No you have no chance. You are a thieving loser.

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