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Relationships

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Original poster

Hoping DH would go to concert with me?

49 replies

Coffeepot72 · 15/10/2019 13:17

A band that I really like have just released their 2020 tour dates – they’re coming to a town near us, so I‘ve just texted DH (excitedly!) , who replied that it doesn’t float his boat ......... OK, so I could poll my friends to see if any of them fancy it (not sure if anyone will be interested) but can I just have opinions on this? I often accompany DH to events that aren’t quite my cup of tea, so is he being a bit mean? This isn’t a huge issue, but I just want to know what people think?

OP posts:

LifeSpectator · 15/10/2019 14:29

Is it possible that its just a miscomunication your dh just thought you saw the ad and thought he was interested, so was replying with a nah, maybe you should message back with- just letting you know i am very interested and this could be an early start on the xmas shopping for you.

We often go to stuff the other doesnt like, and sometimes its very good, althoughi feel i have done enough lord of rings and star wars movie so now have a lifetime pass.

i say this cos sometimes i see stuff he or i would like and i pass on without comment but last week i saw something the younger child might like, sent it to dh and my dh simply came back with no couldnt be bothered, i was annoyed he couldnt be bothered to bring the little chap said so that night and he explained he thought i was saying hed want to go.

TheWolves · 15/10/2019 14:33

People are actually surprisingly nice in mosh pits.

Loopytiles · 15/10/2019 14:39

Except for free or cheap options, we much prefer to do stuff that only one of us enjoys with friends or family.

Pre DC we had much more time and disposable income, and we’d sometimes both attend more costly stuff that one of us was keen on, eg football match or an opera.

Now when resources are tighter and we pay for childcare we do stuff we both like.

Loopytiles · 15/10/2019 14:40

If, for example, the tickets to your thing are £50 each that’s a lot to pay for someone who’s unlikely to be into it.

JoyceDivision · 15/10/2019 14:43

DH booked tickets to a band next month, I've never heard of them and tbh they sound shit not my cup of tea.

I wish he had asked a friend instead, I will be bored out of my head. I would never ask him to a gig I would like to go to as he wouldn't like it and it would spoil the night for me.

BertrandRussell · 15/10/2019 14:47

Why waste the ticket on him? Go with someone who likes them too!

babayjane67 · 15/10/2019 15:18

Dp got me 2 tickets to see my fave band one year for Christmas but he had no intention of going with me.i had to ask around&find a friend who would instead!which I did!

Hepte · 15/10/2019 16:13

My husband usually says he is happy to come with me if I can't find some else to go with who would enjoy it more. And I say the same to him if it's something we're not keen on. That works quite well us so far.

SimonJT · 15/10/2019 16:16

My ex and I had a deal, he didn’t have to watch my rugby games and I didn’t have to and see shit pop acts with him. Perfect!

DoctorManhattan · 15/10/2019 19:33

It really depends on the band/act. There’s stuff I’m not personally into but isn’t really that hard to listen to, and I can happily accompany my other half and appreciate the music if she wants to go. Rod Stewart for example, never bought or listened to his albums but I can easily tolerate one of his gigs. But any invitation to Westlife on the other hand would be immediately declined.

Hopoindown31 · 15/10/2019 19:39

"Would like you to come with me, it would mean a lot. We can go out for a meal before/after and make a proper date of it"

Don't rely on his mind reading abilities, ask for what you want.

BertrandRussell · 15/10/2019 19:53

I knew dp was a keeper when he came to see David Essex with me....

ProseccoIsTheAnswerHere · 15/10/2019 22:16

Hmmm I don’t know if I could be arsed going with someone I know won’t be enjoying it, it would play on me throughout the gig.

I’d honestly go alone if I had no one interested.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 15/10/2019 22:20

I would enjoy it so much more going with a friend who loved it than a DG attending because it's the right thing to do. Unless you can covert him?

FaFoutis · 15/10/2019 22:24

I would also rather go alone than go with someone who isn't into the music. I usually go to gigs alone.

Loveislandaddict · 15/10/2019 22:25

I presumed you were talking about the new Cliff Richard tour!

CR tour 2020

PaterPower · 15/10/2019 23:41

God, her DH will deserve a medal if he’s forced to suffer through Cliff!

TheNumberOneSourceOfEverything · 16/10/2019 03:40

People are actually surprisingly nice in mosh pits.

I know, my brother is one :) he's had glasses knocked off and broken, bruises from knocked about on more than one occasion though, accident and deliberate, it's his idea of fun, it isn't mine and there's no way I was going with him.

Although saying that, a slipknot concert would be preferable to cliff richard

Bluerussian · 16/10/2019 04:02

Cliff is hardly light classical :-).

Original poster

Coffeepot72 · 16/10/2019 09:28

OMG - it's definitely NOT Cliff !!!!

OP posts:

Caucho · 16/10/2019 14:39

If he insists you go accompany him on stuff he’s a hypocrite but do think it’s a bit of waste of money going to something you’re totally not into. Especially a popular oversubscribed event where proper fans can’t get tickets.

I am the type of person to suggest you’d be better off going with someone else but wouldn’t also try to drag you to something you’re not remotely interested in. It’s not enjoyable anyway if you come out really happy and the other person is meh

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 16/10/2019 14:52

I would rather my OH goes to a gig he wants to with his mates rather than dragging me along...

FineWordsForAPorcupine · 16/10/2019 18:35

Why would you want someone to come to something they wouldn't enjoy? Would you really have a good time knowing they were there just because you'd insisted? That seems weird to me.

I have had to be quite firm with my DP that we don't have an obligation to attend each others events if we don't fancy it - although he still tries to pretend that he'd like to come along to my ten quid opera tickets/ spoken word poetry night /women only discussion group (did I mention I'm quite pretentious? :)) when I genuinely don't want him there.

It's the same with family events - I would never insist he came to great aunty jeans eightieth birthday, and in exchange, he doesn't get to strong arm me into watching his cousins sons concert.

I suppose it comes down to which arrangement works for you - do you want your partner forever at your side, even when the price is doing something one or other of you doesn't like?

MitziK · 16/10/2019 23:00

I've done it for DP (I've drawn the line at the Swedish Churchburning Death Metal band he's going to see for his birthday) and he shows up to my classical/choral stuff. I wouldn't expect him to come to an opera or ballet. He'd go with his Mum to see Cliffy, though with my high attenuation ear filters in so he couldn't hear anything. He's braver/nicer than me in that respect. We would both draw the line at a Morrissey/Cliff double bill. Nobody needs that much auditory horror. Or Coldplay, although in our mid forties, we're probably about 15 years too young for them.

Give and take works until you get to That Artist. You know, the one where a slow death by poison dripfed up your arse would be preferable to enduring one bar of their most popular track, assuming they even play something you've heard of, rather than 'because we only want Real Fans here, rather than the mere Greatest Hits purchasers, we're going to play 2 hours of obscure B-Sides and our latest foray into post-post-modern-self-aware-freeform-jazz jam'.

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