Has anyone else experienced this before?
There are certain character traits that I have that I haven’t shown in front of my children, namely:
- Getting very deep feelings for men. Basically falling hard and fast. Feeling like love is the most important thing of all.
- Not liking anyone getting involved in my business. Being intensely private to the extreme.
These two things are not characteristics that I see in any of my friends or other family. I have kept them well hidden from my children and try to come across as balanced, calm, open, etc.
Anyway, I have 2 daughters and my youngest is just like an extreme version of my need for privacy. She hates anyone watching her on the loo (she’s 3). She hates praise or anyone getting overly involved with her. She’s fiercely independent to the extreme.
My eldest is 5 and has already had a few painful crushes. She cries because her crush is in a different class to her. He pushes her over but she still “loves him”. We have told her that we don’t hurt people we like or love. My husband finds her behaviour completely alien but I totally understand it. There’s an intense, all-consuming love there. I had my first crush at 4.
So I have found this all weirdly healing. I had blamed myself for these characteristics in myself. I felt like I was lacking in some way. But now I think that both of these traits are innate in some way. I’m confident that this isn’t learned behaviour from me.
Now I just need to find a way to help my eldest so she doesn’t go through life getting hurt a lot like me. I need to help her boost her self esteem.
Anyone else had this?
Finally, my ex used to pull a funny face when he smiled in photos. It used to annoy me a bit as it didn’t look like him. Anyway, his daughter pulls exactly the same face. It’s just their faces!!