Did he cheat?

[elsielake]

My partner had a night out for his friends 30th Saturday night, before this he played football. He was home around midnight Saturday and when he got in the shower had 4 scratches on one side of his back, and one a little further in but the same side and said 'oh I knew that guy scratched me when he grabbed he was a right wanker' obviously all sorts of alarm bells are ringing. Would you believe it was a football injury?

It's possible, obviously. Any reasons other than this for thinking he's cheating? Does he have form?

Unless you have other reasons not to trust him then I wouldn't think anything of it.

Did he cheat?

Unbelievable.

Bit of a leap OP. The scratches could easily have been football. Why jump to the conclusion that he's cheated?

You must have serious doubts about him if you assume that what he says is a football injury is proof of cheating...

If he'd have been scratched like that during the match he would have known straight away and definitely when he got into the shower. The lads would have been taking the absolute piss.

If he'd known about it in the shower and knew he was going out after and also knew that it could potentially look a bit dodgy then most people would take a photo and either send it to you or keep it saved as evidence that it happened early in the day.

As his story doesn't tie in with any of this I'd be suspicious. But I'd also know the difference between a scratch from someone grabbing his shirt and from a woman.

The marks you describe do sound like a grab, 4 fingers and then a thumb but to leave them so clear through a shirt sounds much less likely.

OP have you ever seen football played? You've described exactly the sort of marks that are left when one Player grabs another during a game..

How scratchy are you during sex that cheating was your First thought?

he would have known straight away

This was the case though, he said so

'oh I knew that guy scratched me when he grabbed he was a right wanker'

also knew that it could potentially look a bit dodgy then most people would take a photo and either send it to you or keep it saved as evidence that it happened early in the day

Are you serious? Do people really have that little trust in each other?

Why would he think it looks dodgy unless it was dodgy?

OP you have massive trust issues. I don't think he's cheated.

Erm, yes I would believe him! it sounds completely plausible. Do you have any other reason to not trust him??

Does he usually shower when he gets home after a night out?
That would be my biggest clue.
It's odd he played football and didn't shower before then going out. But maybe he always does it in that order?
I would imagine you could easily get scratch injuries from playing football.
But I wonder how many men have long finger nails???

I second hells bells showering after a night out comment.

Bruises I would expect, scratches....not through a shirt.

My boyfriend plays rugby and comes round covered in scratches and bruises every weekend, and once missing a tooth! If he's cheating I'm not going to confront her, she must be a beast .

Showering - depends if he was in a sweaty basement club or dancing loads, I've definitely been ready for a shower after a night out before.

However that could be a sign of something more sinister too, but it's not proof.

also knew that it could potentially look a bit dodgy then most people would take a photo and either send it to you or keep it saved as evidence that it happened early in the day

This is just.... beyond insane! Words fail me.

If he'd known about it in the shower and knew he was going out after and also knew that it could potentially look a bit dodgy then most people would take a photo and either send it to you or keep it saved as evidence that it happened early in the day.

so glad you're not my significant other. I don't think most would take photos for evidence at all.

If he'd known about it in the shower and knew he was going out after and also knew that it could potentially look a bit dodgy then most people would take a photo and either send it to you or keep it saved as evidence that it happened early in the day.

Sorry, I'm just picturing my DP's bemused face when I show him all the photos of bumps and bruises which have occurred since I last saw him LOL I'm very accident prone and bruise like a peach!

@SouthernComforts

"most people would take a photo and either send it to you or keep it saved as evidence that it happened early in the day."

If by most people you mean people in toxic paranoid relationships..

obviously all sorts of alarm bells are ringing

They may be obvious to you, but they're certainly not to me.

He was home around midnight and, if he'd been engaging in torrid love-making instead of boozing with his mates, I'd expect him to have come home later and to have scratches on both sides of his back.

Does he have form for cheating, or do you have form for insecurity issues that manifest in paranoia?

DH looks like he's had sex with a tiger if you think that way. He's constantly covered in scratches, cuts and bumps and is often bleeding. He's a very enthusiastic gardener and we live on a farm.

My DH plays a lot of sport and he’s always covered in scratches. Had a bloody nose last time too!

If you have reason to distrust him from previous behaviour fair enough but if you’re being paranoid for no good reason you need to cut it out immediately!!! It’s so destructive!