My ex is a narcissist.
He can’t be wrong, he can’t look like the bad guy and he is a compulsive liar.
He won’t see the kids more than one night/day a week, he ignores me when I try to have a discussion with him about anything to do with the kids, cancels on them at the last minute, lies about why he can’t see them.
He cheat on me with his now gf but denies it all and tried to make me feel crazy.
I’ve had eleven years of being with this horrible person, of being lied to, cheat on, made to feel insane, being disappointed when he’s promises amounted to nothing, so I should be happy we’re no longer together but it’s like I just I can’t escape him, I want to not care what he’s doing, not care how happy he is with his gf but it’s all just so frustrating. He constantly lets the kids down and I can’t stand it but it’s like talking to a brick wall. Why does he get to be happy and I don’t?
How do I cope with this? I feel like I just can’t move on from what he’s done and what he’s still doing to me.
Some days I feel great and I feel happy but most of the time I feel like I’m trapped in my own head and can’t escape a nightmare.
I’m seeing a counseller which is helping but I feel like I’d have to see her multiple times a week for it to make a real impact and I can’t afford that. She says I’m very depressed.
Sorry this is all over the place I don’t feel like I can even put this into order so much has happened.