Husband & baby

[Jess131994]

Hello everyone. I am just looking for advice / opinions. Myself and husband are both 25. We have 2 young children already. We have just moved into a house that is big enough for kids to have their own rooms and enough to accommodate their things and have just gone back to work.
I really want another baby (came from a big family) but my husband is happy with what we have already (not that I am not, I just loved everything about having my 2 LO's). To start with it was a bit of a joke but now we really do disagree, I want to start trying now but he doesn't at all.
I know the general opinion will be give it a couple of years and see how we both feel but I really want my children to all grow up together and the age gap won't allow it.
Has anyone been in this situation with their OH and how did you handle it? The one thing I have always been sure about is having a big family and starting to resent my husband for not wanting to which is awful as he is a good husband and Dad :(

We have three, with around 2 years between each of them. We both wanted three, and I wouldn't change them.

But.

You're DH is right, there is a massive difference between two children and three children, and what I didn't appreciate is that the difference gets bigger the older they get. I was expecting three under-5s to be chaotic, and overall I didn't find it particularly hard or hugely more expensive. But now the oldest is heading into his teens I can see the enormous impact having a third child has had, both financially and in the time we can give them. It has ruled out independent education for them, limits our holidays, and makes it harder to support them as individuals with their homework and hobbies. It is easy when they are cute little toddlers and preschoolers to dismiss these things as unimportant when compared to the joy of a bigger family. And in some ways that's true. But these things do matter, and on balance I think your DH is being wise.

Thing is, he’s as entitled to not want another baby as you are in having one.

This 100%

Someone said above that he's changed his mind and that he knew what you wanted so that's unfair - I think that's such an awful thing to say.

If a woman posted on here saying her and her DH had always wanted three kids, but after having two she didn't feel able to cope and he was pressuring her or feeling resentful then everyone would say he was behaving terribly.

I'm not saying OP is being horrible (she actually sounds lovely IMO) but it's so unfair to pressure someone into a huge decision like this.

I think you are going to have to take it off the table for now OP and try to enjoy your family as it is and see what happens.

Please try not to resent him if his opinion doesn't change, he's told you honestly he doesn't feel able to have a third.