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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Brothers ex alleging he is sending her abusive texts

6 replies

Banana1984 · 14/10/2019 12:28

I don't know where to start really. My brother had a volatile relationship with a woman in 2015 until 2017 and at the end of their relationship they both exchanged a series of angry text messages toward each other-he was convicted of harassment as he had sent her 50 messages in the space of two weeks, and she was cautioned. She was also granted a restraining order.
After he received the restraining order she repeatedly visited his workplace, up to 3 times a week without buying anything or speaking to him, and each time he had to go out back until she left, this happened for about a month until he was forced to ask the police to ask her to stop. It was a supermarket and she travelled out of her way to go there despite there being the another of the same supermarket nearer to her home.
Since then he has done much to better himself, he left his job to start afresh, settled with a new partner and became a dad. Talking to him over the past couple of years he has always expressed fear that she would lie about him breaking the restraining order because she knows he is with someone else. The ex and her mother has harassed his new partner by repeatedly driving past her, doubling back, then driving past her again, and following her into shops. She said she called 101 on one occasion but it was left on file, as she wasn't sure it actually amounted to harassment. The ex had also alleged that abusive messages were sent to her phone previously by unknown numbers however these were not followed through as there was no evidence they were from him

In October 2018 she made an allegation that she received a series of abusive text messages, some threatening rape, and including her boyfriends address and signed off with my brothers name, and alleged that someone has been repeatedly pressing their buzzer on their front door but do not know who it is
My brother has been on the phone crying stating if it was him and signing the messages off with his name then why would he need to use another number other than his own. Why would he break his restraining order when he has so much to lose. He also said that she had threatened to do this before and now he thinks he is going to prison and going to lose his family.
Can the police charge him if they have zero evidence he sent those messages?

OP posts:
Banana1984 · 14/10/2019 12:30

Sorry the police have only got back to him today about the allegations-apparently they couldn't find him even though they knew exactly where he lives and his number had not changed

OP posts:
Mintjulia · 14/10/2019 12:38

It should be fairly straight forward to deal with.
If there is a criminal investigation, the police will check the locations of the mobile when the messages were sent, and then your brother’s location on those days. Shouldn’t be too had to see if they tally up.
Also if your dB works in a shop, he’ll be on cctv. Check the times of the calls against the shop cctv.
Plus check the times of the buzzer pressing. The more detailed the allegations, the harder it is to fake them. Your brother will have been somewhere else provable at some point
And no, the cps won’t proceed without evidence.

Banana1984 · 14/10/2019 12:49

@Mintjulia Thankyou, he is worried the police are going to proceed just on her word

OP posts:
lyingwanker · 14/10/2019 12:57

How long does this restraining order last? Is it a non molestation order?

And the police might ask him in for questioning but unless there's some evidence I can't imagine they'll be arresting him and bringing him to a station. It should be voluntary (but in his best interests to do). They can't prosecute without good evidence anyway.

Banana1984 · 14/10/2019 13:58

@lyingwanker his solicitor said they will be arresting him next week and I guess that will be when they investigate

OP posts:
RolytheRhino · 14/10/2019 14:02

Crikey, hope it gets sorted out quickly, OP. Maybe he should move away elsewhere.

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