A bit of background, my partner cheated on me last year with another woman. It lasted about 9 weeks from start to finish. I was suspicious right at the beginning, however he lied until near the very end, when he eventually came clean. At this point he was very apologetic, said he couldn’t believe what he had done. That he would do anything to make it up to me, etc.
I have struggled to get past the betrayal and it’s weighed heavily on me over the past year. When he confessed, I told him that I needed him to answer questions and be honest to help me move past things. I temporarily moved out of our home when the affair reached its peak and he assured me at that time that he didn’t sleep with the OW until I had moved out (not that it makes it any better). This would have been about 6 weeks into their fling. He revealed last night that he did in fact sleep with her much earlier on (3 weeks in) whilst we still lived together, and he came home and got into bed with me afterwards. It also became clear that he had had sex with me whilst he was sleeping with her.
I’m devastated by hearing this. Although in the grand scheme of things it makes little difference, this feels like another betrayal on top. It feels like more lies and that he absolutely cannot be trustworthy. It feels like the affair was longer than I thought, that he must have sneaked around more than I thought and it’s now making me question everything once again. Am I putting too much emphasis on this bit of detail? I understand that it a terrible thing that he did and I really am having difficulty getting past it. Is this added bit of detail irrelevant in the midst of that?