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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is this as bad as I feel it is

24 replies

kickedwhenimdown · 14/10/2019 08:12

A bit of background, my partner cheated on me last year with another woman. It lasted about 9 weeks from start to finish. I was suspicious right at the beginning, however he lied until near the very end, when he eventually came clean. At this point he was very apologetic, said he couldn’t believe what he had done. That he would do anything to make it up to me, etc.

I have struggled to get past the betrayal and it’s weighed heavily on me over the past year. When he confessed, I told him that I needed him to answer questions and be honest to help me move past things. I temporarily moved out of our home when the affair reached its peak and he assured me at that time that he didn’t sleep with the OW until I had moved out (not that it makes it any better). This would have been about 6 weeks into their fling. He revealed last night that he did in fact sleep with her much earlier on (3 weeks in) whilst we still lived together, and he came home and got into bed with me afterwards. It also became clear that he had had sex with me whilst he was sleeping with her.

I’m devastated by hearing this. Although in the grand scheme of things it makes little difference, this feels like another betrayal on top. It feels like more lies and that he absolutely cannot be trustworthy. It feels like the affair was longer than I thought, that he must have sneaked around more than I thought and it’s now making me question everything once again. Am I putting too much emphasis on this bit of detail? I understand that it a terrible thing that he did and I really am having difficulty getting past it. Is this added bit of detail irrelevant in the midst of that?

OP posts:
litterbird · 14/10/2019 08:19

No it’s not irrelevant, to get through this it is important you know everything. Unfortunately you now know him as a liar, cheat and a manipulator of the truth. Your devastation must be catastrophic right now. I feel for you. You must both of you try and get some couples counselling. If he won’t go then go on your own to work through your pain. Your marriage may not survive this but you will xx

Lozzerbmc · 14/10/2019 09:59

No its not irrelevant as its the discovery of more lies. I’m sorry, the discovery of an affair is gut wrenching. Perhaps counselling will help if you want to continue the marriage but take your time to consider whether its what you want. It’s possible to move on and as i know Flowers

Justmuddlingalong · 14/10/2019 10:18

No, it's not irrelevant. Every confession by him shows how easily a lie can trip off his tongue. Is he thinking that by coming clean about details, it absolves him of taking the blame for his affair? Does he think you're overreacting?

hellsbellsmelons · 14/10/2019 10:37

Are you still with him?
Do you have DC together?
If not then run away OP.
This will haunt you forever if you stay with him.
You will never fully trust him again.
If you aren't married and have no DC then this is a total no-brainer.
Do not put up with this OP.
He is after-all, just a man, and you don't need to be with him any more.

Get rid and move on.

kickedwhenimdown · 14/10/2019 10:59

We are not married but we have children together. I’m seriously weighing up my options here as I’m so fed up of how I’ve been feeling and knowing that he finds it so easy to lie to me makes it much worse. I naively hoped that we’d got beyond the lies but clearly not.

OP posts:
kickedwhenimdown · 14/10/2019 11:00

He knows that he was in the wrong for the affair and takes responsibility for it but feels that this latest information is irrelevant as it was in the past and the details don’t change the outcome that he had an affair

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 14/10/2019 11:05

But EVERYTHING is in the past! I couldn't see him in the same light, OP.

hellsbellsmelons · 14/10/2019 11:06

Cheating is honestly a total deal-breaker for me, but you are totally right. The lies are the worst thing. They are so bloody convincing.
They gaslight and they gaslight and they only give away as much info as they think they can get away with.
Then you discover more and more and it's totally soul destroying.
Having children complicates things.

We had only 1 DD and I was working full time etc... so actually didn't need him.
This is YOU - this is your life.
Take your time on this.
Really think about things.
Does anyone in RL know?
Do you have a non-judgey friend or family member you can confide in?

81Byerley · 14/10/2019 11:10

As somebody who has lived through trying to get over something similar, I'll just tell you that my biggest regret about that episode is that I didn't end the marriage immediately. I want to be with someone who loves and respects me. If he had loved and respected me, he wouldn't have even considered having an affair. I'm now remarried, and I love, trust, and adore my husband, but if he betrayed me, I'd leave immediately. I couldn't go through all the distrust and worry again.

ChuckleBuckles · 14/10/2019 11:16

It is not irrelevant, it shows that he will continue to lie even though you told him what you need (the truth from him) to heal and move forward. In affair recovery circles this is known as "trickle truth" little bits of truth are revealed over a prolonged period of time, you never really know where you stand with this and you can never be certain that the latest version of his story is the real truth.

This drip,drip,drip is like acid emotionally and over time can be the thing that will kill stone dead any love that was left after the discovery of an affair. It shows that his honesty extends as far as what lies you will believe and his fidelity extends to his next opportunity. Please think carefully if you want to continue with him and the affect his actions could have on your mental health long term.

kickedwhenimdown · 14/10/2019 12:44

I wish I’d have known a year ago how hard this would be. @ChuckleBuckles you’re right, the ‘drip drip drip’ is insidious and stops me from being able to move forward and put this behind me.

OP posts:
FineWordsForAPorcupine · 14/10/2019 13:18

It's in the past for him, but it's brand new fresh information for you.

Look, he sounds like a lying cheat. I think you can do better.

timeforachange123 · 14/10/2019 13:58

Why would he, a year on, reveal southing that would definitely hurt you so much. What did he hope to achieve?

kickedwhenimdown · 14/10/2019 15:40

It was because I brought it up and then I could just feel that he was lying and he eventually admitted the truth.

OP posts:
quincejamplease · 14/10/2019 15:43

He isn't taking responsibility if he is claiming this is irrelevant and making you feel like you're overreacting. (You're not.)

Pinkbonbon · 14/10/2019 15:52

Why do you keep trying to 'get past it'. I don't understand. You are acting like this is a mistake you made that you just have to get over. It isn't. Your partner is a serial liar and a cheat.

And he said 'he couldn't believe what he had done' oh come on op. That was obviously bullshit. He did it for nine weeks. It wasn't a drunken mistake. He considered it, did it and lied about it.

And now you find out he was sleeping with her and coming home and screwing you. Ick. I mean he was already a vile cunt but now he might be one that has jeopardised your sexual health too.

Stop trying to get over it and start trying to get AWAY from IT.

ExcitedForFuture · 14/10/2019 15:57

It's clear you aren't going ro get past it OP, and why should you. His attitude shows he isn't even that sorry as he feels you should juat forget about this new information.

dontgobaconmyheart · 14/10/2019 16:02

I'd put more emphasis on it if anything OP Hmm. He risked your sexual health in a big way and didn't give a shit, cheated on you because he wanted to, enjoyed it, and didn't even have the decency to give you the full truth when you told him that was what you needed- still he just did what best got him his own way regardless of your mental health. I hope you had a full STI screening and he also went??

Don't make the mistake of applying sunk cost fallacy to this OP. Just because you 'forgave' means nothing, he moved the goalposts and he is not your friend- he's a dick and he's shown you who he is, so listen, as they say on here.

Hederex · 14/10/2019 19:21

How do you know THIS is the full truth?

Livelovelearn1 · 14/10/2019 21:23

So sorry youre going through this crap... he is only acknowledging things as time goes by because he is finding himself backed against a corner. Of course it is important and it changes your perception of the relationship... you lived a much bigger lie... i dont know how you would regaing trust from that... he is not even owning up... you Hve to pull it all out of him.... wish i could help you....

joystir59 · 14/10/2019 21:30

Just end this ex relationship. Deal with the practicalities of separating your life from.his, start by getting some legal advice and work out your housing and financial positions. You will survive and the pain and awfulness of it will be shorter if you grasp the nettle and end it sooner rather than.later.

CardinalCat · 14/10/2019 21:42

Just when you were trying to make your peace with your new reality of a relationship which had been affected by infidelity, and coming to terms with the facts around that infidelity, you discover that the facts were different (and worse). That shifts goalposts, makes you question trust (again) and the end result is that you are now bursting full of cognitive dissonance (because deep down you KNOW what this man is, but you were trying to believe that he wasn't as bad as all that, and that things might be salvageable.) I don't think you're overthinking a small detail AT ALL. I think that you had just about managed to get a handle on your cognitive dissonance and now you're back to square one with that. What you do next is your call- but you should not be in the slightest bit apologetic or minimising in respect of this latest revelation. Your head is understandably all over the place.

MsDogLady · 14/10/2019 22:12

He treated you with utter contempt by cheating and then by lying when you asked for the full truth, which you needed for recovery. Now he continues to treat you with disregard by criticizing your current pain.

He doesn’t get to dictate when or if you get over his infidelity and deception. Personally, I would consider him to be forever untrustworthy.

75Renarde · 15/10/2019 02:46

OP. This guy has NPD. He has minimised the extent if it (and very probably others). Hes lied to you over again and on EXTREMELY important matters.

Moreover, he will continue to do so if you allow him.

Do not believe his pathetic attempts to 'bring you on side'.

Kick his sorry arse to the curb. Be clever and make sure the door hits him on his way out.

You deserve far better. Flowers. I'm so sorry x

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