Would this make you feel a bit sad for DP

[Allthematchingchristmasclothes]

My DP is very anti-social media. We were talking about someone’s FB status yesterday and he said ‘have to ever read anything interesting on there?’
To which I answered yes - lots of things from family & friends (been on there 10 years & I’m quite choosey about who’s on there only people I would chat to IRL).

Made me feel a bit sorry for him that he has zero interest in anyone who he doesn’t directly live with really.

I feel sorry for you that you place so much importance on reading stuff on Facebook.
Im in his team to be honest. Social media tells you a lot you could have done without knowing. It's much nicer to have a conversation. If he only knows what people tell him then good for him

I don't understand your post. Unless he refuses to communicate with extended family/friends in other ways, not having facebook doesn't mean he's not interested in them.

I do have facebook, there are members of my family who don't use it - we catch up via text or phonecall, it doesn't mean they're not interested in me, or I them.

Why is not using facebook sad? Does he have zero interest in people generally? Then i’d worry.

Facebook is great and i use it but social media is not making the world a better place in my view!

I feel sorry for you that you place so much importance on reading stuff on Facebook.
Im in his team to be honest. Social media tells you a lot you could have done without knowing. It's much nicer to have a conversation. If he only knows what people tell him then good for him

There's quite a level of cognitive dissonance involved in posting this on a social media site to a complete stranger at 6:20am on a Monday morning.

If don't think it's sad that he asks if you "have ever read anything interesting on it".

I'm not on Facebook for many reasons but I don't want to read all the drivel my family post or get involved in the stupid arguments they are involved in. My mum used to tell me what rubbish some would post. My cousin used it as a direct messaging service to his wife about his tea or what he ate for lunch

I often think its sad how wrapped up and competitive people can get on social media.

As per pp's post about cognitive dissonance, it does always amuse me how snobbish people on this platform are about Facebook and messaging etc.

It's not sad - he's telling you whatever you told him about is not interesting in the slightest...

DP and I are both on social media but only discuss it if there's something interesting to discuss.

Why would you "feel sorry" for him?

I didn’t say it’s sad that he doesn’t use FB that’s completely up to him, the status that we were talking about what someone in his side of the family & he bought it up (we had previously talked about it the night before as I thought it may be something he would be interested in) I just think that he has a narrow world view of the only people he has a jot of interest in amount to around 5.

It’s not so much that this information is on FB maybe that’s a red herring - if someone had told us this info in a conversation he would still have no interest.

There's quite a level of cognitive dissonance involved in posting this on a social media site to a complete stranger at 6:20am on a Monday morning.

I make my choice, just as ops partner has. I decide not to be on Facebook as people just nose into your life and then gossip about it. I choose to read and post on an annonimously chat forum because i don't know the people, they don't know me and places like this have helped me through when I needed advice I couldn't get elsewhere. They're completely different things.

No, what a stupid question

I just think that he has a narrow world view of the only people he has a jot of interest in amount to around 5.

It's entirely possible that he actually has a broad "world view" and is interested in politics, economics and the news.

Not being interested in the minutia of other people's lives isn't a cause for pity

I’ve read lots of interesting articles that people have posted and shared on Facebook which have widened my knowledge and understanding but I can’t say I’ve read anything about someone’s personal life that had been interesting apart from feeding my own curiosity. If my friends or family have something interesting to share I tend to hear about it over text or the phone.

It would depend, for me, on what the information was. If someone had bought a new bike or said they're feeling happy today (I'm not sure how big or, more importantly, small things have to be to be reported on FB)
then I'd not be particularly interested unless I was face to face with the person.

I think our family (and it's large) must be really unusual in that none of us, from 16 to 80 have any communication whatever on FB (not even FB accounts). We do have a family WhatsApp for things of importance but that's exactly what it's used for. Things that are important. I did used to have FB some years ago but tired of the banality. Various branches of the family try to see each other as often as possible at which point we have plenty to talk about.

@sadiesnakes thank you so much for answering my stupid question!

I just think it’s a isolated way to live or mindset - but everyone is different, doesn’t stop me socialising or engaging with other people, as long as he’s happy.

Made me feel a bit sorry for him that he has zero interest in anyone who he doesn’t directly live with really.

No. He's winning at life for living his own and not obsessing about the shit that is on FB most of which is PR drivel about how "great" people's humdrum lives really are.

I'm thinking what the heck am I reading now

For me..

I agree with you OP- I'm always surprised if people aren't interested in people. My ex (my bestie) is a bit like it. Maybe it's more common in men?

I'm even interested in strangers- anyone! But maybe I need to get out more :)

My Dad was like this. Before social media obviously. He had no family, except us and no friends. He loved life. Still does.

My dh has no social media. He has no desire to take part. He is free from the burden of friendships and seems to enjoy only my family. Christ - sounds like I married my father!

I'm part of cleaning groups which I find really helpful, such as zoflora and Mrs hinch
I don't post much now, on my own profile And I've made my profile quite simple as I don't think it's as private as we think it is.

People value different things OP, the things people put on facebook half the time are the opposite of open minded world view sharing. I think theres a certain irony in accusing another person of narrow mindedness based primarily on the fact they aren't liking and doing exactly what you like doing...

Social media isn't generally that good for peoples mental health and there is a reason for that. Good for him for not bothering with the facade of it all and getting on with his real life with those he chooses to be around. If you aren't in regular contact or aren't close to people, knowing their life updates isn't really necessary unless you have a need to feel involved. Equally being related doesn't mean you have to care either. There are no rules .

You do make it sound like you don't like or respect him OP, do you think you might have compatibility issues?

Good for him. I think we all need to be a bit more like him. I mean who gives a shit what zoe from high school are for her lunch today.