Where to start, I am a mum of 2 a 1yro & 3yro. Not even a week ago I had come down with severe sickness, to my absolute horror this was no flu, I was pregnant! My reaction to my DH was “I can’t do this” I could see by the look on his face that he agreed.
Anyway we weighed up the options we went back and fourth, mainly I did. Eventually we decided that now was not the time for us. Within 3 days I had booked in for an abortion 
I had never imagined I’d be in that position but there we were. On the way to the appointment I was all over the place, extremely emotional and teary but at the same time I just couldn’t picture myself coping with 3 under 3.
My DH was with me the whole way, but was nowhere near emotional as I was, Infact he didn’t seem upset in the slightest.
Since then (2 days ago) he hasn’t asked me how I am. That early evening I was in bed with our DS, my DH actually went to work! not for long but that’s not the point I was still surprised that he left at all! 
The next morning again he hardly asked me how I was feeling, not to mention the bastard cramps and heavy bleeding I had been experiencing all night!!
What I’m trying to say is I feel so distant from him for the first time ever. He is a happy go lucky guy all the f*cking time and it’s bugging me that he still is his same jolly self even at this difficult time. He has been striking up completely normal convos with me and I’ve basically been giving him the cold shoulder. I know this is still raw but I’m genuinely feeling like this has put a massive barrier between us, I can’t even look at him right now. I’m so mad that he hasn’t been compassionate towards me plus I’m really struggling. I’m feeling lonely and I’m starting to feel depressed, I’m not regretting my decision, I don’t think, I’m just finding it hard to get over. My hormones are through the roof right now.
I’m scared that we will never be the same after this. I don’t want to loose him but everytime I try to discuss how I’m feeling he quickly changes the subject. He says he doesn’t want to keep asking me incase I’m trying to forget about it but I have no one else to talk to. My girlfriends don’t understand and I find it hard showing my emotions to my mother. I need to keep it together for my children but I’m starting to feel distant towards my whole family.