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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

I think my dad is emotionally abusing my step mum

8 replies

Mirrors123 · 13/10/2019 21:38

Name changed as I feel worried about posting this but I need some advice if anyone can help please.

I think my dad is emotionally abusing my stepmum. He's absolutely horrible to her. He belittles her all the time, he's nasty to her when she tries to do nice things. She can ask him a really reasonable, normal question and he gives her such a hard time for it. He humiliates her sometimes. Sometimes after one of these exchanges she just looks so sad and I feel like crying for her.

I feel so sorry for her and I just don't know what to do.

OP posts:

Whatevskev · 13/10/2019 21:39

Can you talk to her alone and share your concerns?

Moffa · 13/10/2019 21:41

Bless you. I would call him up on it in a calm way if you can?

HappyHammy · 13/10/2019 21:41

Can you ask him why he us so unkind and spiteful. Was he always like this.

CherryPlum · 13/10/2019 21:42

Could you say something to your Dad next time he says something mean? I mean like tell him to stop being horrible. To let her know that you can see what he's doing.

SingingSands · 13/10/2019 21:44

Could you stand up for her? Or would he turn on you? If it was me I wouldn't let him get away with it, I'd challenge him every time he did it in my presence.

Original poster

Mirrors123 · 13/10/2019 21:52

I do stick up for her, for example I've tried to defend her and say "she was only suggesting" etc for example if she suggests something and he gives her a really hard time about it but he just sulks or sometimes he'll turn on me. I suppose I'm posting this for a bit of a hand hold as well, I don't want to make it about me because it's my stepmum that it's happening to but I just feel so sad about it and that it's my Dad who is treating someone like that. Me and my stepmum have never been especially close but we get on fine and she has always been good to me. I think I would have to work up to being able to really challenge him, I would of course want to do that but I'd have to be in a very strong place as it would be difficult to do.

OP posts:

richteasandcheese · 13/10/2019 22:34

Can you speak to your mum?

Mermaidsinthesand · 14/10/2019 11:23

Dont confront him at all, he might think your step mum has said something puts her in danger

He wont stop, no matter who says what he is a filth only way to stop him is to leave him

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