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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feeling a bit desperate!

3 replies

Mummadeeze · 13/10/2019 20:45

I am in a shit relationship. No intimacy and we only speak about our child. Aside from this we lead separate lives. In general I am happy as our DD is amazing, I like my job, I have lots of friends and I don’t need my partner. I know we should separate but neither of us wants to be apart from our DD so we are just living like this until she is older. The main problem I have at the moment however is that I really miss sex and physical intimacy. I actually feel a bit desperate to be with a man to the point where I was standing next to a man at work the other day and I had a massive urge to hug him. Totally mad, I know. I didn’t know him (as our office is massive and I am new and don’t know most people anyway yet), but he was quite manly and all I wanted for a moment was to be enveloped in a big hug. I am also horny and have been for the past two years since we stopped having sex. I want to do something about it but am in limbo because I feel weird about the thought of trying to find someone to have sex with, and actually don’t really know how to approach it as I would only want a no strings attached thing if anything. I have been thinking about trying a sex party but am too scared/shy. Aaagh, anyone else in this predicament?

OP posts:
richteasandcheese · 13/10/2019 21:31

Firstly, just separate - your child will thank you for it. I'm in the process of separation myself and I know it will be better eventually. You can't go on like that

category12 · 13/10/2019 21:40

How old is your dd?

Are you really intending to live like this until what, she's an adult? Until she's at high school? Until after her GCSEs? A-levels?

What's your actual plan here?

You're modelling a really poor example of a relationship - is it the kind you'd like her to have?

If you do go off and have sex with someone else and your partner figures it out, is he going to be OK with it, or is it going to cause a drama?

Mummadeeze · 13/10/2019 22:15

Our DD is 10. I don’t know when we will separate. It is just so hard. I can not force him to leave. Financially we are better off together but more than that, I don’t want to make him live separately from his daughter. We love her equally. It is not an easy thing to untangle. Re. whether he would be cool about me sleeping with someone else - probably not, even though I feel sure he must be. He has double standards though. I would need to be discreet. I don’t know what I am asking for really. There is no magic solution. I am just sick of being celibate.

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