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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do I stay or do I go?

28 replies

Cantmoveonanymore · 13/10/2019 19:44

My husband had an affair which I found out about in January although it had ended sometime before. He has tried everything to make the relationship work however I just do not feel the same in my heart.
I dont know what to do anymore. On one hand he is helpful, kind and hardworking, a good dad to our children. He is generous with money, does all the housework etc. However on the other hand I know I am spending my life with someone who treated me so badly. We have been together a long time and I could never act towards him the way he did to me. But he seems genuinely very remorseful and has done a lot to show he is sorry.
If we split my kids lives will change drastically. We are not well off but can afford a holiday each year, activities and trips. If we split then running two households will mean only the basics are covered and that seems so unfair on the children.
I suppose what I’m asking is when did you know it was time to end it all? There are no arguments, or bad atmosphere, I feel like ending it would benefit only me.

OP posts:
Robin2323 · 17/10/2019 08:06

Sorry about that.

My first post was answer for op / which was then put down.

After that I was backing up my first post.

I still stand by my first reply.

( no need for others to comments - just read and ignore )

Robin2323 · 17/10/2019 08:10

Op
I am sorry this happened to you.
I just want you know there are many ways through this.
And a knee jerk LTB is not the only successful option

All the best.

ExcitedForFuture · 17/10/2019 09:52

I agree with Robin. Affairs are rarely black and white. The people I've known to have them had dire relationships and the affair was hardly surprising. The other partner was always blindsided apparently but when you don't have sex for years/bury yourself in work/make zero effort to work on the relationship despite the other person trying/or just plain bury your head completely ignoring any issues, what on earth do they expect! Yes, they did have a role and their own behaviour needs looking at as well.

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