My ex boyfriend was 18 and I was 23 when we first started dating. We were both each other first serious relationship. At first I wasn't sure due to the age gap, but after talking to him for a while, he showed that he was lot more mature.
I wanted to take things slow, so after 6 months we became official. Everything was amazing, he would make effort and time to see me, we would meet up for lunch or dinner, organise date visiting different places. We were both really happy and in love.
After 2 years being together, we started to fight a lot. I tried to break up with him because I felt that his no longer make effort toward the relationship, he became lazy, he doesn't priorities me and didn't seem to understand how his actions make me feel. He then apologised, promise to improve and that he love me, and he want a future with me.
I get upset a lot when he doesn't keep his words. Like if he say I'll call you back, but never do and it happen all the time, it build up inside and I get so frustrated. I would tell him and he just say he didn't do it on purpose so I should get over it and stop starting a fight. He would make time and effort to hangout with his friends, but always seem tired or lazy when it come to organising a date for us, or if I plan something he usually can't be bother. It always a struggle to get him out of the house. He would say whats wrong with chilling at home, we can cuddle and its better. I don't mind that, but once a while I would like to go out and do something fun as a couple and not in a group with his friends.
After 3 years our fight got bigger and more intense. We would scream at each other and start calling names. It was the saddest time of my life, I never felt so hurt and disappointed in myself. He seem to bring out the worst in me, i felt so angry, suffocated and I really hated that side of me. We became a bit distance, but no matter what I do, I still feel like there is a gap between us. He would ask me to bring him food and then tell me thanks and I can leave now, I felt hurt and used.
During our 4 years, I caught him flirting with a girl online who is in a different state. I confronted him and he said that he didn't cheat on me and those msgs he send her was on purpose because he knew I was looking through his phone and he wanted to upset me. i couldn't believed what I heard, so heart broken and lost, I broke up with him. the next day he rang and msg and say how sorry he is and that he will never do it again and that its not really cheating because its not physical and I shouldn't be so upset. Stupid me, I forgave him, I just love him so much. Everything was good for a little bit, but it quickly went down hill again. I tried so hard to reconnect us, but nothing work, he made no effort and no longer appreciate anything I do for him.
He eventually broke up with me after meeting his sister friend. I confronted him about liking her and he said I was delusional and trying to start a fight. He would say stuff like I let myself go, i'm not the same girl, his no longer in love with me. Spending time with me feel like work, i'm a downer and his resent me. He said I was the one that cause the distance in our relationship that eventually drove it to dead end. I was too controlling, too demanding, expect too much from him, I have a bad temper, immature and doesn't listen to anyone else but myself.
Now I question myself, was it all my fault? If i didn't fight with him, or if I was more relax and just let him be, we wouldn't end up like this. I feel so guilty like its all my fault this relationship ended. I destroyed what could of been a perfect relationship. We were happy, how did it end up like this.