Hello,
I promise this is not a depressing post. But I've just been feeling down and frustrated that I feel stuck in my life.
I finally got rid of my abusive ex partner in January. I checked out of the relationship a long time ago. I feel for my child and what's going to happen between the relationship with dad. But I couldn't take no more of the physical/ mental abuse anymore and was worried about the impact it has had on my child.
My best friend, who is a bit older than me, is pregnant with her second child. I am really happy for her and I'm always a phone call/ visit away if she needs some support and company- likewise the same with her. However, I can't help feeling a tad envious that her family unit is growing. Whereas, ex is out of the picture and even though I love my child more than anything, I would like more children but I don't think this W would be the case.
Recently, I now have a huge crush on my professor. I will read one of those magazines, where a woman had fallen for a man who is about 40 years older than her and vowing that I can never do that. Well here us me, I have spontaneously developed a crush on my professor who is 30 years older than me. It was weird how it came about, I had no attraction to him whatsoever, then one day we were discussing about an assignment that I had found difficult, we were laughing about something and our eyes just clicked and I felt this spark. I think he feels the sane way but I know nothing will come out of it, so that's at the back seat.
I just feel a bit bleugh, sad and pitiful. But I know I shouldn't be and Instead should be grateful for the life we have. But how can I stop feeling like this ?