Emotional Abuse during pregnancy please help

[RainbowCrashes]

I need some advice please. I started another thread abt my partner being horrible towards me. I just don't know what to do, this weekend it's been getting worse. He's said awful things but yesterday was the worst. He has helped financially towards bills and he said he will help towards the baby. Now he is refusing saying I can pay my own way. He knows I'll struggle to, he earns 40k+.

He blocked me in WhatsApp but continued to text just to mess with my head. He said he's told his family the truth abt me but won't tell me what he said. By this point I was having another panic attack, more BH contractions which he knew then he did the lowest of low. My mum has a very very serious heart condition which could prove fatal at any moment. He was at a family party and we were texting. During this text conversation between us, he messaged my poorly mum telling her he couldn't get hold of me and he's so worried about me and thinks I need a Dr. She called me in a panic HE KNOWS SHE CAN'T BE STRESSED!! He lied to her, he needlessly worried a sick pensioner about the welfare of her pregnant daughter. Just to hurt me. How low is that he is sick. He admitted he lied but was so blasé and did not care.

Then last night he stayed at his house he rents out to friends. I was waiting for a 111 call back which he knew. He said he's going for something to eat and he'll message later. Reader he didn't bother to even ask if I am OK.

Im an utter mess. I feel so poorly, exhausted, so concerned for my baby. In the 5 months I've been pregnant he hasnt given me one hug 😢 I need to talk to someone, get some medical help, something. Please help I do not know what to do.

Link to other thread. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3715143-Really-frightened-Ive-hurt-the-baby

Can you call your midwife now and ask for an appointment with her? If you're really concerned then ring your maternity unit this afternoon and ask to attend triage to speak to someone. Wishing you all the best.

I second speaking to your midwife. I'm sure I've read something about partners starting abuse when a partner becomes pregnant and it usually gets worse when the baby is here. Do you want your child to be brought up in that environment? No you don't. You must be strong and plan to do everything on your own. Do not rely on him (do apply for cms when baby arrives) . I know that's easy for me to say but much harder to actually do. Your midwife will hopefully be able to offer practical advice (point you in the right direction) as well as emotional support. Do it for your child and do it for yourself.

We have other dc too. It's horrendous. Will my midwife contact children's services? I'm terrified of that.

Try to rest today, I went through similar in my pregnancy and it is scary, I found YouTube self hypnosis and meditation type videos helped to relax me, I would book in to see your GP first thing tomorrow as well and explain to him/her what has been happening and how you have been feeling lately.
Your baby will be fine and so will you (my DD is now a happy healthy 2 year old) but I know at the time it all feels horrific

For today, firstly you can only control so much so stop trying with the other things as he sounds a dick and clearly getting off on the constant drama

Communication with him is making you feel ill so block all forms of communication ( whatsapp, email and text)

Can you call a friend to come and sit with you while you are this distressed?

Your baby will be fine. I don't know if the midwife will flag up emotional abuse to Social services or not. But if she does that sounds like a positive thing

You haven't said if you are intending to leave the relationship but it doesn't sound to me as if you're ready to do that yet

Do you think it would help if you told your mum a sanitised version of whats going on - he is being an idiot but you are absolutely fine and well, and not to worry too much about you? I know you probably want to protect your mum, but you are leaving her open to manipulation from him.

@kissmewherethesundontshine sorry to hear you went through similar. What happened with your partner? Did he realise the error of his ways?

I want to talk to him, when I do he plays the victim. I want him to see what he's doing to me. I don't understand why he's doing this. He's ghosting me again today.

I have no friends since I moved. My mum is my best friend. How dare he use her to get to me, he's sick. I'm protecting my mum by not saying anything.

I can't cope. I'm swinging from anger to sadness. He's ruining what will be my last pregnancy 😢 He needs telling what he's doing to me. My kids seeing me cry, my toddler bringing me tissues, me having panic attacks, he's seen this but it has no effect. It's like he's dead inside.

You call him your partner but don't live with him I take it? Did you used to live together? Have you split up and is that what you want?
He blocked you on whatsapp so I would suggest blocking him back on everything. Doing as another PP said and let you mum know that you are fine and to ignore anything he says.
Then concentrate on sorting your finances as a single parent.

@RainbowCrashes you know no matter how horrible things they are doing, they still justify themselves somehow.. no matter what we do, they will never accept that they have done something wrong. Even if it's verbal or physical abuse they will still find a way to excuse themselves. Because in their head they haven't done anything wrong..