I really need to end this...

[TumbleBum]

I've posted so many times under different names and I know unequivocally that I'm putting up with too much, but I can't seem to get my shit together and chuck him out.

"D"P is an alcoholic and a workaholic and just shit. I think he's depressed but I'm struggling to see how I can help because everything I do seems to just pass him by. DS is 19 months.

Last week DP got drunk after work, got home fell asleep on the sofa and pissed all over it. I spent Saturday cleaning it up. (Because he went back to work and left it, and I couldn't leave it as it was stinking) This is the most recent in a line of drunk piss incidents. I told him calmly that I can't live like this and that when it happens again he has to leave.

Last night DP was working til midnight, I text saying could he pick up milk and squash on his way home. (Only had enough milk for DS til morning, no milk for cereal etc.) I fell asleep and woke up at 2, to find him passed out in all his clothes on the spare bed. We woke him at 7 as he was in work at 8, only to find he's pissed the bed again. (Oh and hadn't bothered to buy milk)

I just don't know what I can do. I don't want my son to be upset by him leaving. I can't see how I will manage by myself, but this isn't a life. I find him revolting, and it transpires that when he went out last night he drove home drunk.

I don't really know why I'm posting, I know he needs to go. DS loves him so much, breaks my heart to break them up.

I've worked so hard to escape alcoholic parents and a poor childhood, I can't subject my son to that.

I can't subject my son to that.

Surely that then should be your primary motivation? Not giving your son the childhood you grew up in.

It will be difficult but drunk driving and consistently pissing himself sounds like the functioning alcoholic is starting not to function.

You say you can't subject your son to that, but that's exactly what you're doing by staying with this low life.

You're not sure how you will manage on your own, but that again is exactly what you're doing now

You are with a guy who due to alcohol keeps pissing himself! I assume that's not something that does it for you :)

It'd be like having an alkie tramp in the house- except he probably has more continence issues than they do.

I can't imagine you particularly want to be intimate with him. Ugh!

Dump him. xxx

While I understand that your DS loves his Dad he also loves you and I'm sure that as he grows up he will pick up on his DD's behaviour if he stayed, and begin to think it's the norm, and acceptable.
It won't be easy to begin with but children are surprisingly resilient and you need to make a stand and kick your husband out. His behaviour is unacceptable, he's not considering you or your son so let him go and piss in a bed somewhere else.

It's possible that if you leave your H that the shock of that might kick him into action and Getting himself sober. If you stay, the chances of that happening drop immeasurably imo.