I am full of doubts. I was in an abusive (EA, sexual and financial abuse) and controlling relationship for several years. It ended 3 years ago and I finally managed to persuade my ex partner and father of my kids to move out earlier this year. It took a great deal of strength and courage to end it as his entire family were against me, but I knew it was best for me and for the children. Two years ago I started a new job. On my first day there I met one of my new colleagues and had one of those lightening bolt moments of complete and instant infatuation. No - I am not 15 but I am acting like it. I kept quiet but we became friends and she (yes - she is a girl) started messaging me and was kind and supportive through the horrific period of having to share a house with a narc ex. We rarely met up but she was in contact daily. I found out that she was in a relationship with another woman at work - also rather nasty and a bully. Then I discovered that the GF was moving thousands of miles away permanently and that the Infatuation and I would be working directly with one another. With both of us single and us working closely, I pretty much seduced her (she later admitted she had always really liked me) and things have progressed to the stage where we have been in a sexual relationship for a year. I love her. I don't think I have ever loved anybody as much as her. She loves me. We spend as much time as possible together but are careful around the kids as their dad has told them that I am in a gay relationship. I have spoken to them about it and am concerned because they have already been through so much with the split. The younger two seem fine and have met her, the older one is coming around but I have reassured them all that it's not serious (it is to me) and based on friendship - so hard to know what to do. So I have masses of baggage and my kids are a bit confused. They are spending half their time at their fathers and the other half with me and I make sure we have lovely, quality time together. She spends her time with me when the kids aren't around but is keen to get to know them. Lovely. The big fly in my carcrashy ointment is that she refuses to acknowledge my existence to her family. I have introduced her to my parents, sibling, older children. I have met her parents and sister but they are unaware of my status as her 'girlfriend' and following a very emotional argument this summer, that is the way it's likely to stay. I find it deeply hurtful - as if she is ashamed of me. As a previously 'straight' person I have bared all to family and friends by coming out to them. She is out to most of her family but will not acknowledge me. Am I being ridiculous? It's been a year. Before I get flambeed, I am extremely concerned about my kids too but thats not really what this post is about. Any advice from wise MNers would be greatly appreciated