Cheating husband

[Buddy2019]

My husband left me 3 months he had a affair 12 months ago & I forgive him for that he done it again recently so I asked him to leave & he spent a lot of time with the 2nd women when he left me for over the summer. He’s also been vilent to me in the past. We have 3 children 18 15 & 9 years old. He now wants me back he’s begging me everyday & he’s saying he’s sucidal he can not live without me. But while my husband was enjoying his space from me I found someone we have fallen badly for each other he wants us to be together properly the only problem is I’m 37 & he’s 26 I haven’t really told my family or my children about him as I feel like I’m doing something wrong it feels like I’m cheating on my husband but we was separated when I meat him. I can not stop think about the effects it will have on my children me being with someone new & the age difference . I’ve been with the same man for 21 years I did not plan on meeting someone new it just happened & we have fell in love with other I don’t love my husband anymore & I do not want him back please help any advice 😕

Hey,

I am so sorry to hear about what you're going through. How are the kids coping? Ignore the husband's talk of suicide, maybe direct him to talk to the Samaritans, but remember he may be trying to emotionally manipulate you into going back. Ultimately if he is constantly disrespecting you then you have made the right choice, especially if he has been violent. Please, if he is ever violent again, call the police.

My only comment would be that surely after so long with someone and the kids being through a bit of an upheaval, would it not be best to focus on yourself and your children before jumping into another relationship?

Honestly, I'd say get your head together before jumping into another relationship so soon - if you've been with your ex a long time, it will take you a while to get over it

If your dh threatens suicide the advice is to call emergency services.

Dont get involved with another man until you have
Sorted your head.

Always better to be on your own before starting a new relationship. A rebound relationship makes you not feel the pain of the split but you will have to face the pain at some point and work through it.

Rebound relationships feel real, intense, wonderful etc but they are rebound relationships and will fizzle out sooner or later, usually leaving one party gutted. So don’t involve the kids with this person or they will be gutted when he no longer visits.

Your ex is trying to manipulate you. If he were serious about suicide would he not have done it already instead of whining to you about it? Hes clearly decided the grass wasn’t as green as he had thought. Or she thought that! Either way don’t take him back. Go your own way.

Hello sorry you are going through this. I think you are better off without your husband.

Re the new man I can understand its all lovely but I’d beware , its way too soon. I think the focus needs to be on your children its too much for them to deal with. I’d back off with the new man and focus on yourself and the kids and getting on with a new routine without your husband.

Plenty of time for dating in future