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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Really need help

40 replies

Desolate2nite · 11/10/2019 22:34

Finished with my partner tonight and feel rubbish. Had the do it to stop a drug habit escalating but struggling with the thought of not seeing him again

OP posts:
45andfine · 14/10/2019 11:32

Says alot about him! He must've looked a right prick. Be grateful that he saved you the need to go collect it!

Original poster
Desolate2nite · 14/10/2019 12:51

Yes actually he did look a prick 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
Desolate2nite · 14/10/2019 20:37

So tonight I've had his daughter in law messaging me to say how upset he is, she's never seen him so upset, he thought we were forever and he will never do drugs again, etc. I've told her nicely that I don't want to talk about him, but now I'm feeling guilty for hurting him 😱 my head is battered. Any advice please?

OP posts:
Nondescriptname · 14/10/2019 21:55

Remember this :
The girlfriend before me in 1991 committed suicide and it seems that most women he had a relationship with ended up with a drug habit.

He's sorry for himself that's all.
He'll never do drugs again? Yeah, right.
This is the guy who'd be perfectly happy for you to be an addict.

Stay strong and don't look back.

hellsbellsmelons · 14/10/2019 22:57

Stop op.
No guilt needed.
His ex committed suicide fir crying out loud.
He got you back hooked on drugs.
Boundaries. Please!!!!
You've done so well to take back control of your life.
Fuck him and his drugs.
Please do the Women's Aid Freedom Programme urgently.
Do NOT get hoovered back in.
You got this.

Original poster
Desolate2nite · 15/10/2019 09:23

Feeling better this morning. Blocked DIL so no stress from there

OP posts:
Original poster
Desolate2nite · 15/10/2019 09:37

Also, when I checked my stuff I realised he had "forgotten" to put in a couple of fairly expensive items, but I'm writing them off. Possessions are easily replaced

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 15/10/2019 09:43

So pleased to see that OP.
Any and all of his flying monkeys need blocking as soon as they message.
Don't even respond. Just block.

Nondescriptname · 15/10/2019 10:12

Well done, OP. You've got this!

midsummabreak · 15/10/2019 20:26

I think you have your priorities worked out well- you are taking care of yourself now, not listening to his lies and breaking free. You are right to follow your instincts and not be goaded to argue about the expensive items he purposefully left out, He is so underhand and purposefully stealing, its just another hook to drag you back to communicate with him. Well done on blocking the lying moron.

Honeyroar · 15/10/2019 20:33

Don't feel guilty- he didn't when he was throwing your stuff at work and calling you a shitface! You've 100% done the right thing. Your dad would be proud. Keep your head up and stay strong.

Original poster
Desolate2nite · 16/10/2019 06:57

Not even a week yet but I've woken up feeling like a weight has been lifted. I have great support from my mum and my own friends, have blocked all of his friends. Going abroad with my mum next month. Looking forward to a happy future

OP posts:
Nondescriptname · 16/10/2019 08:45

That's wonderful to hear, OP.
(I don't want to use your username because that's not the case at all now.)

Interestedwoman · 16/10/2019 15:38

Glad you're feeling optimistic and have got some nice stuff planned. xx

Original poster
Desolate2nite · 26/10/2019 14:01

2 weeks in so I thought I'd give an update. Feeling very happy and massively relieved to have got out of the relationship. Also glad to have found out how little he actually cared. Need to NC at some point because I'm definitely not desolate 😄

OP posts:
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