Jealous of my rich sister! How to overcome it

[Melanie1811]

I love my sister to bits! But.... I have a husband and child-we both work diffident shifts and have barely time for each other. Our jobs are decent, but not good enough for living in London. We struggle financially. We can afford food and rent but that’s about it. My sister is engaged to a guy whose parents are extremely rich owning about 20 houses in London! And they just gave them one of the houses. I’m trying to talk about other stuff and avoid any money conversation with her. But every time we are together she starts talking about investments and how they might get a second house to rent so they can work less. I’m happy for her but it is killing me inside what to do? Any strategies to be happy with my situation and wish her well?

I think its insensitive of her but she may not realise. I think a few comments along the lines of renting one of her fiances investments at family rates as it would be so helpful or a few comments in that order might help. It must be galling but at least you are independent and live off your own money :)

@DarklyDreamingDexter God I'm sorry that your brothers are that horrible to you. If I was in that position, I'd have bought you a house for sure by now. Can't believe they are happy to watch you struggle.

Maybe you and the op need to both say to your respective families that while you are happy for them, considering your own circumstances you don't want to hear about their new homes or ferraris etc. It's a hard conversation to have, but they need to realise that not everyone lives like them and they need to be more modest.

@MoodLighting and @Blueoasis I didn't mean to imply that I'm really struggling. That would indeed be horrible if they stood back and watched. It's more a case of being insensitive. I do believe they would help if I was genuinely struggling/desperate.

I am worried about the future when I stop working, not having much of a pension to look forward to. But for now, I'm doing ok, living an ordinary life. My idea of a treat to myself might be a Chinese takeaway on a Saturday night, or maybe a pair of shoes from TK Maxx. I'm luckier than many in that I can afford to do that, so I'm not pleading poverty. My brothers' idea of a spur of the moment treat might be a £50k Rolex watch or a pair of jetskis or something. When I hear my younger brother talking about the kitchen extension on his holiday home, which is costing more than the price of a detached 3-bedroom house in the fairly affluent area I live, I just don't want to hear it, quite frankly. I doubt I'll ever be able to get back on the property ladder. I certainly don't want or expect handouts, but I get where the OP is coming from in that we don't want conspicuous (ostentatious) wealth rubbed in our faces all the time, as it's just galling.

I get this, but not just about money. I'm a single (mature) woman, paltry salary, with no prospect of retirement. I have 2 sisters in long-standing marriages with no financial worries, and a partner to help/support them. My brother also in a long-standing relationship, who helps and supports his partner. I am very jealous of their relationships. I feel they are very 'smug' and have no empathy about how I live.

I distance myself to a degree, and also to people generally that I don't identify with. I don't begrudge anyone anything, but I'm afraid I do wish I had some of it

I don’t think there’s any malice in what’s she doing maybe, just a bit thoughtless.

Could you turn your negative energy into positive and do something for your own self worth?