Am I too picky on OLD ?

[French8312]

I'm on an app called Hinge, but haven't yet met anyone who seems serious. Does anyone have any better sites perhaps ?
I was talking with a guy who seemed nice. We were meant to meet one day but he cancelled at the last minute saying he had to stay late at work. He was really apologetic and offered another day so I said it was fine.
We arranged another day, but I didnt hear from him for over 24h the day of the date so I text asking if it was still on (as i'd make alternative plans). He replied saying sorry he had been out last night and was really hungover, and he couldnt make that night either because he didnt know how he would get there from his house, could we do Saturday instead ?

1. It was 5 minutes' drive, 2.there is a thing called Google maps, 3.why couldn't he have suggested another place then ? So I unmatched him because cancelling the first date twice is really not a good impression.

I spoke to another guy who seemed nice. But then he mentioned how he loved living alone because he could walk around naked. Then in the next message he commented how hed been walking around naked that morning 🙄 seemed sleazy ans think he thought it would make me want him or something so I deleted him too. How do you find serious men on there who want LTRs ?

When I was on dating apps I found this too!

Full of sleezy men that want to send dick pics
Or guys that don't message at all.

Apparently being patient is the key? 🤔

Keep your stardards high and don't ignore red flags. I treated OLD as a bit of fun and something to do when I hadn't got other plans rather than looking for a relationship and then I had a date with an amazing man who changed everything for me. Two and a half years later and 50 year old, I'm happier than I've ever been.

Btw we met on tinder

I was on POF, where I met my husband. Honestly, I would be quite decisive. If someone was sleazy then I would unmatch, didn't answer anyone who just said 'hi' etc. I was fine if someone cancelled a date once, or had a really good reason, but otherwise I moved on. I found that local guys were quite flaky so I widened my area a bit to include people a bit further away so I had a bigger pool of people.

I don't think you are being too picky at all, but I do find online dating does tend to be a slog sometimes and you feel like giving up. A couple of friends have said they get better options on sites you pay for, but I haven't tried that so can't confirm either way.

You're not being too picky.
Being patient helps. There's a dating thread on here.

I met my partner on Match Affinity (not Match) 8 years ago and it has been perfect from the first moment we met and couldn't stop chatting and laughing. We're a solid couple and I guess it's proof, if it's even needed, that it pays to write an honest and detailed profile and make sure that you know what you want out of a relationship. I have several friends who regular use POF but with the focus being on a shag rather than anything longer term. I imagine many people use more than one site and sometimes the same faces will appear.

For people with less time to spend trawling bars, the gym, joining clubs etc., it's a great way to narrow the field quickly and have some the initial "filtering" done for you.

When I was online dating I never went on a date unless we had spoken on the phone first. There are plenty of folk out there who are happy to flirt online or by text but have no intention of actually meeting, probably because they are in a relationship. When I insisted on chatting on the phone the serious people obliged. Plus, you find out the compatibility of someone way more quickly then exchanging dozens of messages

There's an expression for online dating

The odds are good but the goods are odd

I met my husband online, keep looking, don't drop your standards

Actually thinking about it, we swapped a lot of emails first about our favourite books, walks and poems. It was quite romantic looking back

There are a lot of pervy twats or various lame arses on those sites. Like others have said, you just have to wean them out, eventually you'll probably come across someone decent.

Thanks for all the replies :) I suppose it is just a case of fishing through that and finding a good one every now and then ! Nice to hear some good stories :) im glad I didnt date either of them for the sake of having a date !

I find the men a bit needy.
First messages are OK then they get in a strop cos I haven't answered immediately.
Or you look on a profile and think I might say hi later but before I get a chance, there's a 'You could have said hello you're only in Townname'.
Often I can just imagine what sort of thread would have been on here about him.
I haven't clicked with anyone, but plenty seem ok.
Not met anyone yet and have not gone on the site for a few weeks.

Was I too picky?

I dont think you were too picky at all. Expecting someone to reply immediately to every msg is crazy ! What happens when people work and generally live their life ?
The guy who kept talking about being naked in his flat would literally reply within one minute to every single message, no matter what time of day it was. It's good to not take days to reply but seems like they have way too much time on their hands.

Thanks. I went on as a way to try to move on from XP, but am not in the right place yet.
I know I am quite picky but if it's fairly obvious that we wouldn't have much in common and haven't clicked why would I meet them for a coffee?
If someone's interests are spooning on the sofa with a box set, they don't sound like my kind really.
What is spooning anyway? I thought it was when you sleeep like spoons but I'm too scared to google in case it is

Yeah I know what you mean. It takes time, i'm in the same boat. It will help you i'm sure just talking to a few others though to distract you :)
Urgh it puts me off when they put about spooning or liking to be the little spoon 😂

I dont think you were too picky at all. Expecting someone to reply immediately to every msg is crazy !

I think the problem is that men are pretty much like trawler fishing boats who spread their nets far and wide and then get arsey when few respond to their 300 profile likes. Women tend to be sport anglers trying to catch that marlin.

Don't know. Still in bits.
I don't think I am ready to meet anyone and I don't really want to spend ages on the phone chatting if we're not going to meet.

I think by spooning he meant snuggling up to each other, but going to someone's bachelor pad a mile up the road to watch a box set isn't my idea of fun.

I know the feeling. It will take a bit of time, you will eventually feel ready :) haha i'm the same really re the snuggling thing !

Haha picky is something like demanding on blokes 6' or over. Rejecting the first bloke because he's an unreliable lazyass and the second because of his weird and sleazy way of asking for sex isn't picky.