when do u say enough is enough!!??

[lilsmum]

me and dp have been together for 2.5 yrs and have 8 mth dd.... but all we seem to do is argue and pick at each other every other week we "split" up then sort of make up... and i just dont know what to do we dont really have sex as when i had dd i suffered 3rd degree tear and have really gone off sex mainly because it hurts and just have lost interest totally.. we never really talk and i am worried that dd is picking up on it all which is what i dont want AT ALL!! to be honest sometimes i just wish i was on my own but this also scares me a little i.e financial and coping, so when do you decide that enough is enough? i have been very down lately and did suffer pnd after dd was born.. but when i was asked to do that edingburgh scale thing again i lied as i didnt want the "stigma" of having pnd... sometimes i feel so lonely and other times i am fine i am up and down like a roller coaster!! i do sometimes feel like dp is only here because he feels he has no other choice and all he seems to do is find anything to do other than spend time with me and dd we never go anywhere as a family and i am just so fed up pls help!! xx

Oh lilsmum. Are you sure it's your husband that is the main problem? Sounds to me like you might still be a bit depressed - maybe pushing him away because of that? You also need a check up for that tear too.
Before you do anthing drastic why not have a chat with your doc and let your husband know how you're feeling. He might surprise you.
Hope you're getting out enough yourself too. Look after yourself lilsmum. Must admit all the people I know of who have had pnd tend to be pretty strong characters who have high expectations of themselves. They all felt better once they asked for help - but they were all a bit late in asking for it.

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as has been said there is no shame in pnd - I would explore the avenue of having yourself checked out and possible treatment before making any big decisions if after you feel baxk to normal and things are still not right then you will feel strong enough to cope

Also re the sex - if you don't actually feel revolted by the thought of having your DP anywhere near you, have you thought of discussing having non-penetrative sex with him? It's just as good, doesn't hurt, and can bring you both much closer together. It also means that when you are ready for the penetrative stuff, it will be far less scary and frightening and far more enjoyable.

I agree with others, it sounds as if you are still a bit depressed and need to work through that before you make any drastic decisions.

Do you still have any affection when you are getting on?