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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Leave me long term boyfriend for him??

11 replies

Sdixon44 · 10/10/2019 16:47

Please help me I am in a 7 year relationship and things have been going not very well for past 6 months or so we have argumnets frequently about him spending time and making an effort be with me, we don't have much in common and he is very much into his video games and I am not. He is always on his laptop or watching YouTube I have expressed I want more dates and to feel loved and he also never had any money. I do love him still and am wanting to make it work, he is helping alot more around the house and not being on the laptop as often. We also don't have as much sex as I would like he has very low sex drive , The problem is I have met this guy at the same place we both work and I feel very attracted to him and I think he likes me to and is single. I would never cheat but I keep thinking about him sometimes and wonder if not this new guy I could be with someone else and be happier?? I keep doubting my relationship not sure what's happening. Is the grass never greener on the other side? How do you know to keep trying or leave?? Xx
It's hard because I do still love him ahhh it's going round round in my head X

OP posts:
onanothertrain · 10/10/2019 17:17

So you don't think your boyfriend makes an effort to be with you but you're think about another guy anyway, maybe already having an EA. If you're not happy then leave. You don't need a new boyfriend waiting in the wings.

Gazelda · 10/10/2019 17:33

If you left your BF, and then discovered that you'd mis-read the signals from the other man and he wasn't actually interested, how would you feel?
Either you're committed to BF or you're not. Don't mess him around.

LuckyBilly · 11/10/2019 02:43

It's very easy to look at other people and wonder if they would make a better partner when your relationship is not going well, but the grass is rarely greener! You need to forget about the other bloke and work out if you actually want your relationship to continue. I would also add that getting involved with someone from work is nearly always a bad idea. It's great if it works, but horrific if it doesn't, especially if one or both of you develop feelings

Absolom · 11/10/2019 05:11

You don't need a new boyfriend waiting in the wings.

Agree. Why can't you leave if you're not happy and enjoy some "me" time. Why do you need another bed lined up to jump into? I've never understood why some people can't be alone for a second and bed hop, it's just tacky.

Take some time out, the other guy might not even be the catch you think he is when you're single and see him from another perspective. Why the rush??

Sdixon44 · 11/10/2019 05:42

Thank you everyone and yes I didnt mean to jump into this new guy straight after I mean within next 6 months or so if I ended my current relationship.. everything is very confusing :( I love my boyfriend but things like sexual desires get it the way and wish he could be more touchy feely with me like the beginning.. how do you know when to give up. I still want to cuddle and look forward being him I just keep wondering if this new guy could be a better fit ahhh 😞😩😩

OP posts:
Secondsight · 11/10/2019 17:43

The fact you are interested in this other guys suggests you want more. Your current relationship sounds awful. Leaving your boyfriend for someone else is hardly the most heinous crime out, it could turn out to be the best thing out. Or it may not be and you'll be on your own but that sounds better than sticking with your mediocre guy. Nows the time to find out.....

NameChangeNugget · 11/10/2019 18:35

I couldn’t continue doing what you are at the moment. I’d end it

Actionhasmagic · 11/10/2019 18:43

I would not be with someone who was more interested in their video games than me

Aminuts23 · 11/10/2019 19:30

Have you noticed the problems in your relationship more since you met this new guy? That’s what happened to me. My relationship was shit. I left and secretly did hope me and the other guy might get together. We never did but I never looked back anyway. Take a long look at your relationship and search your soul to see whether it’s worth saving

dmof2 · 11/10/2019 19:43

Sorry to read an run op but if you are unhappy enough to weigh the differences with a new guy then I'd leave weather it be to go ahead with him or be by your self. If you were happy and committed you wouldn't have thought about a relationship with another guy. Gl Thanks

Boysey45 · 11/10/2019 20:07

I'd leave your current boyfriend who sounds a waste of time and then go out with whoever you want.

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