Back in the summer at a weekend away with friends I got together with a man who is part of my friendship group . I am ten years older than him . I’ve been single a long time and wasn’t looking for anything so it was very unexpected. I was cool afterwards and after we both went hone he immediately contacted me asking if I was free the following weekend and we got together and had a great weekend . I didn’t think it was appropriate to bring up the where is this going talk as I felt it better to just go with the flow for a while and see where things went . From that point he was in fairly regular contact basically daily and was messaging even from work . Good morning texts. How is your day etc . To all intents and purposes he seemed quite keen . He lives over an hour from me and due to my own commitments we can only get together at weekends but that works fine for me . He is not one for talking on the phone which alarmed me a bit as I felt text is easier to keep an emotional distance but tried to ignore that . Our close mutual friend knew we had got together and seemed optimistic this was going to be something . Unfortunately last weekend after a great evening and night together he made a reference to us being a secret . I asked him why we had to be a secret and he replied because otherwise it’s a relationship and I don’t want that . Ughh not what I wanted to hear ! I asked him outright why and he gave me all the cliches -trust issues etc etc . I felt very disappointed when I went home as by this time we had been seeing each other for three months . Of course since then he’s turned the radio silence on and it’s been me initiating contact for a change . I guess I’m just looking for clarification that I should be walking away now although part of me suspects he’s already made that decision and isn’t mature enough to tell me so has just decided to ignore me . Our mutual friend thinks I should give it more time but why ? He’s clearly said he doesn’t want a relationship so I have to do this don’t I ? (Small wobble 😕)