My husband and I have separate bank accounts and each take care of our own expenses. He pays for all household related costs, I pay for all child related costs. It's always been this way from when we were dating. We have no oversight of each other’s bank accounts.
My husband was previously married and his ex milked him in the settlement so he's a bit burnt. A few years ago, when I was pregnant we had some major disagreements to the point that it was make or break for us. During this time he moved money around. After our daughter was born, I prepared a will and was surprised to find that his savings were less than half. I knew his savings amount as we were planning to buy a property together the year before. When I asked him, he pretended to not understand what I meant and then said he bought shares and reinvested the money but couldn’t explain where.
This month we applied for a joint mortgage. I was responsible for collating all the documentation required, he said that he needed his bank and pay slips information from work and sent the documents to the mortgage broker directly from his work email to not allow me oversight. I disregarded it but when the bank asked for more information today, he did the same thing again, even though I asked him to forward it to me first.
It's raised warning bells for me.
Recently his job moved to France because of Brexit. Our marriage is already on ice again - we don’t know where the future lies - as I can't find work in France - my jobs are all in the UK - and for me to move with him, I need to stop working. I am a good earner, making almost as much as him so it hits me hard. I contemplated taking a year or two off work as our child really missed him midweek (he travels on weekends to London) but now, this whole scenario with the bank statements really has me thinking twice.
Am I overreacting about the hidden and unexplained finances?