Certain People stress me. Any tips

[Sno19]

Title says it all. At the moment it’s a mum at school. I don’t know why she stresses me maybe some of you wise mumsnetters can advise me. It’s just bumping into her she always has an issue. Recently I told her about an issue that her kid pushed my kid last week and she just ignored me! I’m constantly listening to her moaning about issue after issue. Doesn’t stop at school gate as I hear about her issues outside of school too. Why is she stressing me out so much and how can I stop it? I think I’m taking her too seriously but why am I being so wound up by her. Anyone has similar stories so I can see my issue with another perspective? I hate doing school run incase I bump into her and I always do! I’ve tried muting her calls but I end up feeling guilty and can’t relax till I find out what the issue is do I can get on with my day

If you don't like her, don't hang around with her at school. You have no reason to listen to her moaning so don't.

Re the ignoring your complaint how old is your DC and what did you expect her to to do?

There was a woman at school who moaned at me constantly that my DS had pushed her DD, said something unkind, looked at her funny. My son was 3. Her DD was 6. I ignored her because it was an absurd complaint and there was very little I could do after the event.

Lack of tolerance and social skills somewhere

You need to stop feeling guilty and mute the calls. Tell her you are going through a lot and you are cutting down on phone time or something like that. Stop responding in person - when she’s ranting about this or that just don’t engage, non-committal noises etc.

Our kids are same age. I don’t hang out with her but it’s a bit rude if I don’t respond to her when she speaks to me at school gate. Kids in same class. We knew each other before the kids and I thought she was okay then as we met like every couple of months or so but now I see her 5x a week and realise I don’t actually like her as a person. She’s not done anything really bad but I don’t know I just feel uneasy around her. I never did before it’s just recent

I only brought up the pushing incident as she was going on about her kid crying that mine wouldn’t play with her kid. I wouldn’t have brought it up if she hadn’t been moaning about my child not playing

Not engaging isn’t ignoring, you just say less and don’t get into it with her. There’s a difference between token politeness and going through people’s problems. If she’s only just now started bothering you, have your stress levels increased rather than her behaviour changing? It’s ok to want to back off from someone though.

Say hello and carry on walking, not rude but avoids longer conversation. Block her phone number if you don't want to speak to her. You imply by the title that this happens with other people at times. If you don't like someone or don't want to have a friendship with them/have them share things with you, don't give out your number. Life is far too short to be getting stressed over this.

Cheers for the tips. Yes I am stressed so maybe that has something to do with her irritating me maybe

i get stressed by everything and everyone on my way too and from work. To make this post shorter, here is a list of things that piss me off:

people who walk too slow
people who walk too fast
loud headphones
people on their phones all the time, so much that they walk into you or walk slowly up the stairs.
People who laugh loudly
dog leads
beeping cars
cyclists who ride into you then shout at you

I hope this makes you feel better. :)

Ive got a colleague who seems to unload on me, and doesnt notice that I tend to absorb negativity. So now I smile, nod, say mmm, whilst planning what Im having for dinner.

Geogaddi - ha ha. I know what u mean by some of them!

redexpat - I absorb negativity too. That’s the issue I think cos what she says is not most of time directed at me but for some reason I get stressed listening to her. I heard of a term “empath” before. I don’t know if that describes me.