Why is he being like this??

[Bluee91]

So me and my partner have been together 5 years, we have 2 kids together. Things have been fine up until today and now I'm left wondering what I've done wrong. We both have a mutual friend that I met a few years ago through him. I asked my partner to pass a message onto someone we both know (just asking if she can give me a call sometime) as I dont have her new number and rarely use social media so just thought it was easier if he could ask for me. Anyway, he didnt so i asked our mutual friend and he did. Today my partner found out I asked and went mental at me calling me crazy and other horrible names. Now as we are all in the same friendship group I really dont understand the problem but it blew up into an argument where he was calling me a sly twat and my partner is now completely ignoring me. Am I crazy in thinking this isnt a big deal and its blown up over nothing or is he right that I have crossed some kind of line?

That's weird. Is there any reason he wouldn't want you talking to this mutual friend?

Yes - complete over-reaction.
I would certainly be wondering why.
Why are you not on social media?
You sound young and it's unusual so I'm just being nosy!

That is what I was wondering, is there a reason why he doesnt want me to have contact with her. I'm on and off social media, have Instagram but rarely use it and facebook I'm on and off, I'm 32 he is 44

The only reason a man acts like this may be if there is something going on with him and said woman. Unless there is a back story. I think it's an innocent request but ott reaction from him and the reason he is ignoring you could be that he has something to hide and does not want the hassle of having to explain himself

Yes, my first assumption was that something is going on between him and this woman and he's trying to scare you off communicating with her.
Or maybe he's sent her inappropriate messages or something, and he's worried if you talk to her one on one she'll tell you.

I would have thought he has tried it on with her (or worse) and doesn't want you to know. Maybe suspects you already suspect something.

Unless he is controlling in general... Do you have other girl mates? Does he like you having them?

There's no excuse for his behaviour either way.

Well I think you may all be right but he would never admit to it and neither would she, I mean she is kind of known for cheating etc

There just isn't many other reasons that someone would react in the disgusting way he has.
His name calling etc is gross.

All that asside - He called you a bunch of horrible names. THAT is reason enough alone to kick his ass out. You can't have a man treat you that way, especially a man you have kids with. I hope you can see that it just isn't on.

No you are right no one should let anyone talk to someone that way. Its completely messing with my head wondering if there is a reason like this behind it and thats why he reacted in this way.. i dont think I will ever know but either way I have some serious thinking to do

I think we get so obsessive about picking apart the 'why' sometimes, when really it should be a case of - this person clearly shows me they have skewed morals. And people who lack moral fibre, say and do immoral things. And I don't have to protect myself from that.

*do have to xD

Don't just seriously think. You need to confront him, hold your ground, make it clear how totally acceptable it is to ever talk to anyone like that. That's assuming it's the first time. If it isn't you have to act further I think. You shouldn't be with a man that can treat you like that over nothing!

I agree his problem is not with you going through your mutual friend but because he doesn't want you in contact with the other woman friend from the past. I think she may be his other woman.

There's no rhyme or reason to his behaviour otherwise.

There it is again. That word - the one men always seem to use when they are trying to cover their tracks and make out that you are the unreasonable one.

Crazy

You know you're not. You also know that his reaction was totally over the top in relation to the situation.

I cant confront him if he is refusing to talk at all

Of course you can confront him- say what you need to say. If he won't reply to you, I would be really pissed off if I were you, as that's not helping the situation. Eventually he'll start talking to you again and then you can bring it up again, but don't let his silence stop you bringing it up now- you've not really done anything wrong, so don't let him off the hook.

Most likely either
a) as PP's have said, he has something going on with this woman (I personally think this'd be an unlikely coincidence maybe)
or
b) he's trying to control who you contact, hence he's blown up at you contacting this guy.

Neither explaination is good.

Or maybe c) he hs some sort of mental health issue at the moment.

None of these are fun to live with.
Hugs xxx

Well clearly he doesn't want her to get the message she's to call you. So I'd assume he's hiding something there and doesn't know how she's going to react to getting that message,

I'd say he's either sleeping with her, has done or she knows he's been unfaithful and he's worried she will tell you, sorry op. But he doesn't want you to talk to her for a big reason.

There's obviously a reason why he's wanting you to not contact this friend. He's gone on the defensive and shut down communication with you so you can't ask him the reason why.
Nobody deserves to be spoken to in the manner he has to you.
I doubt you'll ever get an answer from him regarding his actions. I would still contact this friend if you want to.