Am I wrong for wanting therapy?

[Rapunzel25]

Hi everyone. I’m (26F) currently living with partner (30M) for about a year. I’ve felt quite down and anxious lately and have had mild anxiety and depression and self esteem issues in the past. I’ve always found talking therapy, CBT in particular to be very helpful. I recently referred myself to the service and am on a waiting list. However when I told my partner about this he became quite angry about it and that I didn’t need to go and that the doctor would be a ‘quack?’.
I just feel really sad because I want to go and I didn’t think going to talking therapy was wrong?

Talking therapy is not wrong, the doctor would not be a quack and your partner here is acting like an arse. The question is why he is acting like this; there are always reasons why. However, that is NOT your issue or responsibility for you to sort out, its his.

What are the root causes of your feeling like you do currently; is it your partner?.

I would second what @AttilaTheMeerkat says. In my experience counselling and therapy can be very effective for anxiety, depression and low self-esteem.

With an attitude like that, I'm also wondering if he is the cause of your difficulties.

I hope you feel better soon.

My ex accused me of using therapy "as a way of getting someone else to fix me" . What he actually meant was he "didn't want an independent person telling me that his behaviour was manipulative and controlling"

The therapy will help but it might get worse initially as you start to deal with stuff that comes up. It made me feel I didn't know what was my feelings/opinions and what was habit/pushed onto me, etc.

IME the partners of women who behave like this are afraid...

-afraid of being left (relationship ending) as the woman gains confidence
-afraid of being discussed with a therapist
-afraid of their behaviour being exposed

In other words they are bullies who don't want a chink of light shone on their behaviour.

Go- and seriously consider why you are with a man who is unsupportive.

No one is unreasonable for seeking therapy. It can be really helpful to deal with habitual ways of responding/reacting that you want to change, even if you aren't depressed and don't have anxiety.

thats interesting, I had wondered whether he’d taken it as a direct attack on himself. I don’t know why he isn’t supportive, I know his family aren’t big talkers. But even so it’s not an excuse. I have been thinking about leaving but I can’t seem to. As pathetic as that sounds.

He is ignorant- talking therapy is not quackish, especially not those with a strong evidence base such as CBT or EMDR etc, those the NHS provide which you can also obtain privately.

Sometimes partners feel threatened by therapy. You are never wrong to seek therapy.

You could say to him 'Talking therapies and especially CBT are not quackish, they're proven to work for a lot of people.' (Or whatever put into your own words :)

Either way, whatever you say to him (even if you say nothing to justify yourself - you don't have to) go for it anyway. You owe it to yourself! Hugs xxxxx

P.S. He does sound a bit of a controlling and/or negative twat, if you've seen this manifest in other ways and are already considering leaving him. A therapist would help you get the confidence to leave if you decide this is the right decision for you of course. This might be part of what he's afraid of. :)

Nobody is ever wrong for wanting therapy. You know what you feel inside yourself and what you need. A lot of people have commented on your partner's reaction, so I won't go into that but - I just want to say, asking for therapy is a huge thing, especially when there are people around you who are scorning it. We're proud of you