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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Blurting out I love you during sex.

16 replies

ChippyPickledEggs · 08/10/2019 13:02

Not me - him.

I feel a little confused by it. It's very early days, (about six weeks in) we're not exclusive, we're not serious yet. We like eachother I think, it's going well, we're having fun, but I don't think we're sure of each other yet.

Granted he was a bit drunk and it was in the middle of some fairly intense sex during which expressions of enjoyment were being made and terms of endearment being used (as you do sometimes in these situations.)

Then he just said it, and something else afterwards that I didn't quite catch. And because I didn't catch the thing afterwards I thought perhaps I had heard him wrong so just kind of ignored it and carried on with what we were doing. But it stayed on my mind and the next day over messenger I said: "I could have sworn you told me you loved me in bed last night." And he replied: "I did. It was in a sexual context."

Um... ok? To read anything into that or not? I'm assuming he just got carried away in the moment to be honest. I can see how that could happen. But at the same time, those are big words to chuck around.

OP posts:
Pistols69 · 08/10/2019 13:13

Carried away in the moment. I wouldn’t read anything into that so soon.

KarenWithTheHair · 08/10/2019 13:15

Given the context he probably meant “I love what you’re doing to me” or “I love your xxxx”.

MySonIsAlsoNamedBort · 08/10/2019 13:16

You already asked him and he already confirmed it was in a sexual context.

Case closed.

Elodie2019 · 08/10/2019 13:17

we're not exclusive, we're not serious yet. We like eachother I think,
God I'm so old.
'We like each other I think' ? 😂

CTRL · 08/10/2019 13:19

My rules are whatever is said during sex is just part of the moment. I wouldn’t take it seriously

ZimmaZummaZoop · 08/10/2019 13:19

He probably got carried away in the moment

DP did the exact same at the beginning of our relationship. I just pretended i didnt hear him and carried on.

Funnily enough we only discussed this the other week ( been together 2 years now ) and he said that hed just said it in the heat of the moment

CTRL · 08/10/2019 13:21

@ChippyPickledEggs

I’m not being funny but why do I feel like you asked this question expecting others to tell you his in love with you and head over heels...

You asked him and he gave you an answer as to why he said it. Not sure what the confusion is about

Earthandsky · 08/10/2019 13:23

He probably feels stupid now. I would have ignored it not sent him a text.

ChippyPickledEggs · 08/10/2019 13:32

CTRL Well I guess I hope he does really like me - nothing wrong with that. Yes, he's told me why he said it and I do accept his answer. I wouldn't have said it though - no matter how drunk or carried away I was.

Earthandsky I hope he doesn't feel stupid. He's no need to.

OP posts:
dontgobaconmyheart · 08/10/2019 13:33

I expect its habit tbh OP, most of us who've had a LTR previously surely get used to saying it routinely during sex, when you get a new partner it's hardly unfeasible it would slip out when lost in the moment. I don't think you can take it to mean anything. They're only 'big words' if he actually meant to say them in that context, which he has confirmed he didn't .

ChippyPickledEggs · 08/10/2019 13:34

I did try to reassure him by saying 'Don't worry - I didn't take it too personally.'

He doesn't know I'm now on Mumsnet Grin

OP posts:
Gemma1971 · 08/10/2019 13:50

In vino veritas.

Nice anyway..... Maybe he has feelings for you. 6 weeks is quite early though... so if you are not exclusive, he could feel and do the same about other people he has sex with.

Only time will tell. I don't know if I could have sex with someone knowing they were still keeping their options open. I can barely get the garden done in 6 weeks never mind progress that quickly to bonking Grin

KUGA · 08/10/2019 14:13

My dh has often said that along with I love you so much.
Took some getting used too tbh.
It`s better than saying you look good in the dark.

ChippyPickledEggs · 08/10/2019 14:37

Grin KUGA

OP posts:
NameChangeNugget · 08/10/2019 15:25

I think anything said drunken, mid fuck should be taken with a massive pinch of salt

Cecilandsnail · 08/10/2019 16:26

My boyfriend and I have a running joke rule that any I love yous said during or just after a shag don't count Grin. We have to let an appropriate amount of time pass before it can be accepted. Sounds like he just got carried away. He's probably mortified. I wouldn't have said anything to him after though...poor bloke!

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