He's usually in bed and asleep by about 830 (or so he says) at home and going to bed early is usually his prompt.
Part of me thinks I am just over thinking it and then I replay stuff and think actually it's maybe not just me over reacting.
I think He had the hump because he wanted to go out for dinner and I asked that we stayed in, I've not been well, am shattered all the time, and skint. He earns 3 times my salary and I hate that he always pays, although in fairness I always pay the food and alcohol at home so I guess it evens out. He sees it as treating me, but he doesn't have to worry about money. He lives very modestly as far as his house goes, car is company one, he has a very expensive motorbike but never uses it, has a small 2 bed house he bought when he was 20 so virtually mortgage free, no kids/family so no outgoings really. I earn 18k have a mortgage, a 6 year old. An ex who thankfully pays maintenance (when I chase him) and happily pays out half for dancing and school trips etc. But it is still very tight. I have only had the house 3 months and with Christmas coming up I am stressed to hell about how I am gonna afford it so I probably have done his head in a bit with it all.
Dd is being particularly challenging at the moment, she is on chemo for over a active immune system so I am always stressed about who she has been near, is she well etc. And lately she has been very upset for no reason she is saying. She told me the other day she feels like crying but she doesn't know why. It hit me harder than I thought and I was trying to explain that I feel like a shit mum because I hadn't noticed she was sad, because she plays me and her dad off against each other and he spends money on the latest big toy (lol this week) and I can't keep up. Dp has bought her the camper thing for Xmas from us both but refuses to take half from me which I know u should be grateful for but at the nome t it is just smacking of the disparity and making me feel like I am failing her. He thinks I am ridiculous and however I try and explain it I end up pissing him off.
He is annoyingly black and white about life and I know my need to have answers and things to be "equal" annoys the hell out of him.
His Dd died when she was 6 months old, and I make so many allowances for the fact he may feel awkward, upset, guilty that he is moving on etc. And I know he will never get over it, and I have never forced him tk talk to me. But I do think I deserve a explanation of his behaviour, even if it is he is having a shit time at work, feeling crap about his fiancee and baby etc. Hut doesn't want to discuss further. At least I would know.
It is just driving me demented stressing about all the possibilities. It is triggering my anxiety badly and he knows that but can't /won't see that his behaviour is thw reason.
I don't want to walk away but I am wondering if it is better all round.
I may suggest that maybe he needs some space to deal with whatever is going on and to ring me when he is feeling in a better place and we can see what happens. But I am more than a little terrified that he won't ring me ever again.
How did I get so fricking pathetic!!