Is sex or some sort of physical intimacy the answer?

[PantryStreet]

I’ve come to the conclusion I’m a bit scared of sex!

For context, I love sex and everything in between. In relationships I am very into it. I’ve been single for a year now and started dating again. Met some very attractive men who I have had good chats with. I always want them to make a move and then when they do I push away or turn away. The thought of them near me makes me almost panic. I’m not sure if I’m shy or nervous or repulsed by them.

Then I get home, wish they were with me and I really crave sex.

In the past I have had to drunkenly kiss or just take my mind elsewhere while we got closer physically, my last partner I had to make myself have sex with them (I really wanted to but was scared!). Once I did it, it was great and I was into it again.

Has anyone else experienced this? Do I just need to do it? Or at least go in for the kiss? It’s so frustrating!

Obviously it is causing a problem with me developing a relationship as I can date someone great for weeks and not go in for the kiss even though I want to and they do as well. That puts a dampener on things!!

Maybe after a few dates you could message them and say I wanted to kiss you or can I kiss you next time. Then it’s out in the open. I think a lot of people feel nervous about it but sounds like it’s something you do want you just need the confidence and communication to get it

OP, The short answer is condom and go for it. The more complex answer is how you actually get there, because at the moment you are missing out on your needs.

Maybe follow what @Jane1978xx suggests? But possibly not too many “few dates”, if the chemistry and passion is there, go for it. x

I'm like this recently, because II'm not very confident as I put on a bit of weight (I'm not overweight, but I'm more unhappy with it because I've had a non-specific eating disorder for most of my life which comes and goes, but I always have a poor body image. Also, my libido is strange, like it's never been, maybe due to the previously mentioned issue. I get turned on by other people's appearance etc, but then am quite happy to only have sex with myself:) Anyway, just thought I would say I can empathise with you xxx

Maybe you’re not ready for a relationship yet, or you need to get to know them better before things go further physically.

You need to be able to talk to a partner about this as well, if they’re right for you they’ll be able to support you.