If you are on good terms with your ex, do you buy them Xmas/birthday presents?

[tinyvulture]

I mean, from you personally, rather than ones you organise from the DC. And if so what do you spend?

My ex and I get on well now, although our marriage was pretty bad. He has been supportive to me since, and I consider him a friend. I tend to get him something thoughtful, but cheap - a book, CD or DVD I think he will like, but I only spend about £5. He tends to spend much more - for example last Xmas he got me a reed diffuser set which was £25, and for my birthday five CDs and a book. He does have more money than me, but not five times as much.....

I am wondering if I am being a bit stingy, and should up my game - but also whether my boyfriend, and his girlfriend, might find it weird if I start showering him with gifts.....

I know every situation is different, but just thought it might be helpful to know what others give (if anything) and roughly what you spend......

I didn't know CD's were still a thing.

Personally I wouldn't be spending any money on an ex no matter how amicable it is. It's nice you do though, I don't think you really need to be doing anything more than you are though.

Yeah, I’m quite behind the times with tech and still have CDs!!! 🤣 He’s got an Alexa now, so I guess they are off the list for him....

No. I don't buy him presents from DS either, nor vice versa. I get him a card for father's day and his birthday and that's it!

I think if you’re comfortable with what you do, that’s great. Don’t overthink it.

Nice to hear of a couple who can still be considerate to each other, and accept they just weren’t “The One”. Sounds like you both embrace the true meaning of Christmas. 🎄

We certainly weren’t always so amicable! But yeah, we co-parent well now and things are good. And he has been really helpful when I was going through a tough old time, for which I am very grateful.

I guess you are right that the amount we spend isn’t really important, it’s the thought that counts (that old cliche, but true) and I probably am over thinking. He was always quite generous with gifts to be fair, and is probably used to people not spending as much on him as he does on them......

Coincidentally I ordered exh's surprise cyanide pill today.....

Windydaysuponus - 🤣- my first ex husband would definitely be in line for one of those! (If I still had the misfortune to be in touch with him - luckily no kids with that one, so he is long gone!)

My recent, nice ex and I do also give each other gifts from DD which she chooses, but they are never very expensive on either side and always basically shit, although quite sweet and endearing to receive (typically a necklace or T-shirt with her favourite animal on it, something like that! 🤣)

I do, and also in a similar position finance wise - he has always been generous with gifts so my birthday/xmas present is more expensive than what I will buy.
His birthday is in Jan, so its usually a combined xmas/birthday present.. but I dont spend more than £20, although it will be something I know he's interested in, or has mentioned in passing...

Thanks everyone for the replies - they are really useful. StillAgony, so do you just not worry about the financial aspect, and just think, it’s the thought that counts? (I’m coming round to the idea that this is the right approach, and that I’m over thinking, as usual.....)