Partner being dodgy with phone

[Lolly122]

So I just want others opinions please. Would just like to say I’m not a controlling/jealous girlfriend I just want other opinions because I don’t know if I’m going mad or not. So I few weeks ago I found out my partner had been on a website where women can upload homemade naked pictures/videos. They weren’t porn stars they were actual women if you get what I’m trying to say. I wasn’t happy about it so we had a chat and I decided to drop it. Anyway, last night our son was on his phone watching YouTube and DP needed to nip go Tesco’s. He took his phone off our son so I basically said why can’t you just leave it here, you’re only going to be 10 minutes and DS is settled. He then started to say he needed it incase he had an accident which I thought was a pretty strange thing to say. Long story short he refused to leave it and home and took it with him. I understand I may get mixed responses but I want to know how other people would feel and want to make sure I’m not being paranoid

I wasn’t happy about it so we had a chat and I decided to drop it.

I don't think the chat got the message through to him. I'd be on high alert if I was you.

You are living this situation, you know if something feels off and you have valid reasons for feeling a bit uneasy regardless.

Don't let anyone tell you that how you feel is unreasonable or that asking for reassurance is controlling, it's not.

From what you've said, I can't see anything that suggests anything dodgy is going on, I'd behave similarly with my mobile phone if I'm honest and there's nothing on there that I wouldn't want my DP knowing about. We are very protective of them in general.

As for the naked pictures website, I don't think that's anything to worry about, if it's a red line for you and he knows that then he should stay off them but I think before you've had that conversation he'll just view that as "porn".

I always take my phone everywhere with me and I don't have anything to hide

His reason for wanting to take his mobile with him seems fair enough to me.

The looking at other people's videos thing is weird. I think it depends on what your boundaries are. Obviously, porn is videos of other actual people. If this is just an amateur porn site, eh, I suppose it depends on if you are fine with porn in your relationship. If you haven't discussed that as something you are uncomfortable with before, I'm not sure how we would know that, but now you have, so you both have to decide where you go from there.

The taking the phone thing with him wouldn't ring alarm bells with me though. I take my phone with me wherever I go. I wouldn't go 10 minutes to Tesco without it, just in case. I wouldn't think it was weird if my dh did the same. Neither of us have anything to hide, but I want to be reachable at all times. No big deal. But it sounds like you are uncomfortable in general in your relationship if you are checking his phone and not trusting him. It's hard to say if the issue is one of him not being trustworthy or you being controlling and jealous though. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where I felt I had to do that though.

He let your son use it watch videos on, I doubt he"d have done that if he had anything to hide. I take my phone out if I'm nipping to the shops too and I'm not being dodgy.