Resolving issues with MIL

[Andromeida59]

So as not to drip feed. I went NC with MIL a few months ago due to her controlling, narcissistic behaviour. She has acted up in various ways but DP has done a fantastic job of keeping her away and standing by me.

I have thoroughly enjoyed the peace that the NC has brought. I don't get the calls/messages. She hasn't been at the house (although she has demanded it to DP).
FIL now wants to talk to me about the situation. I'm happy to speak to him.

Has anyone been in this situation and resolved it? I know she's not going to change and I'm not willing to put the effort in to try and get her to change.
DP goes round to theirs, FIL comes to ours to help DP on the house. Their relationship has not been damaged.

I guess I'm looking for tips on having an "arm's length" relationship.

@Maggieroo - I think you'd get more replies if you started your own thread. (If I was in your shoes, I'd wait until the baby was born before visiting'

I definitely wouldn't get DP to talk to FIL before he talks to you. It's almost like treating OP as a child - 'Dad everything has to pass through me and get my Ok before you speak to Andromeida, and I will yes or no it.'
Andromeida is an adult. She has her own relationship with FIL independent of her relationship with her OP. I'm sure she is capable of a sensible conversation with her FIL.

I believe FIL wants to get Androm on her own to talk about the situation to persuade Androm to appease MIL. FIL has taken the role of the victim and Androm has fallen for it. DP has not fallen for it. I guess someone failing to back down as required is causing FIL angst because it shows that he could have chosen to refuse to accept MILs behaviour. MIL will be furious at FILs failure to properly enable her need to be mean to Androm. FIL will be suffering. DP knows how the enablement goes and that's why FIL wants to get Androm alone, which why DP should head it off. It's that statement of "Oh no you don't Dad. Don't start your nonsense on my girlfriend. You want to talk about how to handle mum's bad behaviour then talk to me or Androm and me together."

I would listen to him. And then say that sorry, but the way things are now are the way things work best for you. Let him get what he wants off his chest so that he feels he has done that. Just because he talks to you about it doesn´t mean you have to actually change anything about the situation.

How did the talk go OP?